watching the wind create waves

a rule we had

time to talk

so we walked up & over a high long hill

trudging over well trodden steps

watching the wind create waves

there in the tall grass

the rule we had

to not talk through our shit feelings

in the shit space we’d made them in

so here we were

climbing a long high hill

panting between breaths

the furiousness of feelings

I feel XX

when you do XX

when you say XX

your actions mean this to me

I feel

& holding on to the second rule

only listening to the words being said

not responding except to acknowledge

not in a passive way

how could that ever be

when climbing a high long hill?

Industrial Shaman 8

it wasn’t the occasional

waft of sage

drifting out of the windows doors

or the stranger noises

occurring within

but that sometimes my clients

my employers employees

would leave the job

he would weigh heavy

I pay you to get ‘em

back to work

increase productivity

help them to fit into teams

not to get ‘em fit to go

where I thought it prudent

to not state the obvious

my role was to help them

get their heads straight

find some peace in the world

& if that meant leaving

the daily grind in this place

that was a good result

I tried sorting his reasoning

well y’know if they decide to go

that’s one employee less

you need worry about

because more than likely

they were going to leave anyway

he needed sage I felt

conversations

sober in the daytime

we had us one of those conversations

where you feel the blood rush to the head

squeezing tighter & tighter

asking the necessary questions

seeking delicate truths

& worse than the squeezing

was knowing understanding the answers

that were coming back were less than

trying to fit these half lies

into the miasma of deceits gone

in the long years before

not wanting to interrupt the flow

with gotchas! ahas! now I knows

& wanting to say to soothe

its ok these are times long gone

nobody expected perfection

just the truth straight please

no gilding the lily

greasing the stones

but the whole truth to help me

understand the whole picture

came there none

Bob the company man

it wasn’t that I didn’t like the man

hell nobody did

he had no filter

& anything he thought he’d say

at least he had honesty

going for him eh?

he brought with him a low hum

like a lonely turd sitting unflushed

in a public pisser

everything turned sour around him

because he’d say what he’d say

I’d & other people would say

ffs Bob wind it in will ya?

& he’d be all upset at being pulled back

I guess what I’m trying to say here

we had us an asshole of the first order

able to give shit out

but sensitive to any being given back

where eventually the only joy

we had from the man

was seeing the bruises he’d collect

from other less forgiving folk

than us over the weekends

why do you ask?

so for you

my anger

came from nowhere

was unexpected

has this happened

to you

at all before?

oh only

a couple of times

exes y’know

why

do you ask?

smile wide as the sky

she liked me lots

she said

smile wide as the sky

‘cos I smelled like trouble

& while

I was checking my ‘pits

she refilled from the bottle

& I fell down into a hole

coming up for air

noticing she wasn’t around

started heading for home

once more all alone

thinking on the night

pitch black swallowing me

all the way down

thinking if I don’t learn

something from this

trouble

will be her name

all over again

fill your role be no other

we met once a week

cash going one way

while I talked of life love

anything other

giving up what I could

without ever breaking cover

for who she saw me as

& came the time to go

there was no hint of sadness

sighs smiles or sorrow

except a hint of regret

to who would fill my shoes

take up the appointment

be handing good money over

create the moving picture show