coyote calls

oh you fall asleep

doing the daydreams

doing the everyday

just going about your business

what you need to do

& the reverie comes on

it’s a good time to be alive

got money in your pocket

eaten slept hydrated

& having no agenda

just your mantra

to keep breathing

everything be ok

the coyote calls

sees easy prey

here’s another one asleep

let’s see what I can take

the other thing

the harder part of

having an agenda

eyes open full alert

is so heavy a toll

too exhausting to pay

this is how we

let the demons in our lives

come out to play

sometimes a shut mouth is the best mouth

Judy wants to meet up

still not sure why her man left

leaving her with 2 boys to raise

& after a glass of red 2

she confides towards their end

he never came near her

& I want to say

there’s the clue love

take the hint

but I don’t

she asks if I’ve seen him?

& I lie flat out to her face

that I’ve not heard hide nor hair

not my place to tell truth here

I met him & his new partner

a few weeks ago

a very nice fella he’s in love with

the both of them happy together

& he never once mentioned Judy

so neither did I

guessing that part of his life

was over & sometimes

a shut mouth is the best mouth

not my place to tell stories out of school

let it pour

had lost my place

in the chair

with you

all that was left

holding on to the floor

& when I woke up

the rain on the windows

all I heard

was let it pour

& I had a drink

for yesterday

one for tomorrow

another for today

hoping those

just might

wash it all away

& to make true

I needed

just the one more

let it pour

killing floor

I did the work

left it all lying there on the therapy room

killing floor

could see how I had created you

just to hurt me again

by giving out loving

for you to take in give so little back

recreating so much had gone before

& I wanted to tell you

how I’d worked it out

to be the better man

who would be a changed person

saying goodbye

could not take you anymore

knowing I could not tell you these things

you’d only use them to

pull me in again

so told you thank you no more

walked out the door

took the phone off the hook

let the silence hang for a little while

hope to hell

this time I’d learned the lesson

wouldn’t need the go round

once more

my mothers lovers

I met a couple

those that strayed

into my view

they were not told as such

just friends

who came to stay

I remember the german guy

killed himself in his car

in the back alley

when that became over

who she said did that

as he was in love with my sister

who to be clear

we know who’s interests

do not lay that way

the fella year or two older

than me

with his secret smile

thinking he had a great deal

& me

wanting to not believe

but when

you get hit round the head

often enough

the learning stays

enjoy

wanting something to read

thumbing through the racks

& everything it seemed

was about poor rich lawyers

involved in murders they did not commit

spies passing thru’ the world unseen

avoiding death destruction shit

all of these having money to burn

love attractions every fucking turn

or some giant of frame & intellect

able to defeat thugs robbers rapists

flick of an elbow fist sturdy wrist

take on guns pick axes knives

without ever once breaking sweat

& I had to turn away once more

there was nothing here to take me

out of my world give me somebody

I could believe in

enjoy

I hear

the silent part

I hear

you’re busy telling people

I made you angry

& the bit they miss

you don’t say out loud

the silent part

I broke your heart

& that’s ok for you

to be telling stories

the devil you saw in me

but the bit you miss

the silent part

is I let you go

had nothing left in me

to give

you’d killed this loving heart

with betrayal

& that is the silent part

interview

we’d met a couple of times

here & there

as anybody does living in much

the local parts of any city

same’ish social circles

& I could feel the tingle

when I saw her

there in the lower body

wondered if she felt the same

& the night came

at some dreary dead party

began talking of life loves

those we both knew

come she called leading

me out into the night

took me to her home

suggested we do the loving thing

on the living room floor

then in her carefully made bed

I gave it up until I just had no more

come the morning she gave me coffee

said goodbye at the door

I guess I failed the interview

as I never saw her again

nevermore

a gentle chide

I forget now

was it her breasts

her smile

they way she pretended

to be up close

lean in like she was listening

made me forget

how she drank

one minute the vodka bottle

would be full

half full

completely gone

& then

a gentle chide

insinuations made

until I found a new bottle

or

she fell asleep

& there came a time

when that became preferable

the artist

he was indeed an artist

all the accoutrements

black beret (of course)

twinkly eyes (strike 1)

grey goatee extended ‘tache (strike 2)

dark shabby strange clothes

like the red & yellow paisley cravat

black walking stick with a silver

lion head pommel

as he stopped in front

did a double take of my girls beauty

which was evident

but of course

without the artist

to observe

verify

did not exist

as neither did i

the dark blob by her side

the only thing I felt in his favour

was his advanced age

he did (of course)

offer to paint her

which never happened

as his companion

another dead blob beside him

failed to find a pen

to write down my girls number

on these things

fate

prevails (strike 3)