hugs

I’ve missed your hugs

she muffles

from my chest

& hangs on for a while

maybe two minutes

more

feels like an eternity

as my mind wheels back

to when we were lovers

but she doesn’t think of me now

like that

long times ago

not that I’d want that again

in my life today

but

well

y’know how it is

to be thought of as an ex-lover

has no thrill

piquancy

potential

have what you will

to be a was

has been

but no longer

a sexual person

I hold her

feeling her breath warm

slow & relaxed

once I made her pant

gulp for air

excited

& now

I am only good for her stress

relaxation

& very probably

my own

peace of mind

 

Somewhere deep

in the high California desert

hot dust and bright

a railway crossing

lights flashing

mid afternoon

as we stop to wait for the train

& here comes Casey Jones

striped dungarees, cap

waving his big lamp

checking time on his

big fat engineers pocket watch

I go over to pass the day

Hi, how long is the train?

I’ve no idea says he

I’m here on holiday

love the trains

is all it is….

erm, I ask, all confused

is that a Belfast accent

you’re sporting there?

Aye son, he comes back

as I was tellin’ ye, I love the trains

thought I’d do my part….

& I walk away

after mumbled goodbyes

thinking

this is

not the place

to comment further

out loud

It is what it is

gets thrown about some

in the simplicity

of a thought stopping cliché

what it really means

is to give it straight

let us know the all of it

rather than

some ego/face saving

trickle of tid-bit story

everything

comes out in the end

& if we are

to make informed decisions

all information is vital

but humans are fickle

will do anything

to save from being judged

keep up the front

we’ve carefully crafted

where

if you can tell it like it is

leaving in

all the bits you’d prefer out

you are the better person

it is what it is

Tired of revolution

new this

fresh that

different way

of doing old things new

I want resolution

when the man on my tv

is telling me the same

as that woman on tv

did yesterday

& I didn’t believe in her

& I don’t believe in him

but they’re saying

all these things in my name

not my name

not my planet

I ain’t got no expenses account

limo parked in the street

no tickets on the windshield

they got clothes from names

I only see in adverts

on that damned rotten tv

selling me a new truth

not like

oh no

the truth telling me from yesterday

I want resolution

end to taxation without representation

none of these cats

will ever be meeting me

listening to a word I say

without twisting ‘em to suit their play

end to kids starving before school

after school going back to nothing

a future without more money

a job without living pay

end to police brutality

they ain’t serve & protecting me

not my family

just taking money from my pockets

to pay for more

what?

nothing

again for me

sitting

nothing to do this seaside afternoon

as the ladies take their fill

sit to eat ice cream

rest weary feet

suck on an ice lolly

the chatter begins

about nothing much

inane conversation

tv

soaps

how her from 2 doors down

knows no better

kids nowadays

always on their phones

no respect for their elders

& him that got his girlfriend pregnant

& if asked

you’d tell them

of greek plays

from four thousand years ago

that spoke of much the same

issues with kids

they won’t ask

for who are you to know?

you are alone

when they have good company

people to talk with

share ice cream

relax

spend time with

chew over the small stuff

who will be there

when granddad falls

granny needs taking to the hospital

& all this chatter

is the grease

on the wheels

of their relationship

& no greek play

no matter how old

profound

relevant

will help with the emergencies

life brings

tomorrow

sipping cafe creme

As the dead bodies pile up

I’m sipping a café crème by the Seine

stacked in cold storage waiting claim

paying through the nose for frosty Red Stripes in London

scraped from wreckage on fast roads with difficult bends

sitting in the sun too blinded to see ancient cathedrals

fished from the sea & left only with a toe tag

cervezas & tapas sitting along the Dura

found hanging in forests without a note

waking at 3am as the cat lands on my feet

heart attacks, strokes, final coughs in hospitals

as I turn over, tickle the cat

not today my friend

not today

but it is coming

it was a good room

I had a music player

a sink

two rings to cook on

bed

table

couple of chairs

it was on the top floor

so nobody

fancied

liked

the long stairs

up to my lair

next door was a drunk

who’d get steaming

cry in the night

& I cared enough

to hammer his door

if he got too loud with it

I could paint

hang the sheets on the wall

write into the night

put the pages down

& later

if I read & hated

sail them out the window

into the rain

the drunk got loud one night

I hammered his door

& he came out

all fists & fuck you fury

crying

tears running down his ragged ass face

I’ll clean it in the morning

Huh?

the shitter

I had an accident ok

& he opened the door

on our shared shitter

there was shit

on the floor

the walls

the crapper itself

seat

cistern

handle

door handle

no, man

clean it now

& if you don’t

I will kick your ass

hard

now

he looked at me

face all wet

man, I’m fucking sick

I can’t do this now

I just can’t

Ok, I said

prepare for pain

& stared deep

Into his wet tears & snot face

Ok

Ok

he cried

I’ll fucking do it.

I went back to my room

listening

to muffled huffs & puffs

out in the hallway

for about an hour

then a quiet tap on the door

I went out

he’d cleaned it

well, enough to use

but man

he stunk of shit

sorry man, he said

bad times y’know

you, er, got any booze?

I got rid of him

with a rough NO

went back to some lines

I’d been working on

& threw them out of the window

into the rain