fool on the radio
got the golden tones
singing his song
about being misunderstood
feeling the game
stacked against
since day one
& I hear him singing
just for me
maybe too
just for you
& I hope the fool
knows true
this how we all feel
not just you
whispers
y’call
into town
get a coffee & apple pie
maybe a bit of ice cream
there on the side
& the lady with her hubby
lets out a sneer
whispers
he’s got spurs on
there on his heels
& you smile at her
wink at the old man
‘cos they will never
get it
try as hard they can
spurs got uses
not just to tinkle
under the same sun
as you
but uses
for those that know
don’t need to understand
seeking
I went out
trying to find
seeking
this fella I’d once known
took me a while
we looked each other over
sat drank the coffee
& through being seated
our eyes
were there on a level
that was about
the only thing that was
there was nothing left
of him
or me
from the times
we’d known each other
before
but the only bitter I could taste
was at the bottom
of the coffee cup
but I knew straight
we’d be here no more
plans & schemes
I’d have to hustle
in those early days
create plans & schemes
write training courses
most anything might help
earn me a living
& I had some success
nothing breeds bright ideas
better than poverty
& I had some failures too
people would want to latch on
hold on in the hope
I’d bring some prosperity
their way too
but not being broke enough
to think of their own new
they’d just as easy fall off again
if something brighter newer
came their way happened along
& it took me a while
that losing people like these
was their problem
not mine
though to be sure
it took me a little while
to get there
for somebody
supposed to be bright
watch his knees
sitting in the car
& she said watch his knees
he was standing in a call box
early evening winter dark
seeing if they had another shift
he could go do earn again
& I was watching his knees
as the call connects he’ll buckle
she said & sure enough he did
my loco driving daddy
was off to pull another shift
& it might have taken years
for me to understand
he knew he had to go
but sure enough didn’t want to
feeding hungry kids
put food on the table
or going drinking with my grandpa
are only the choices
poor people have to make
getting picked up
became just how it was
walking driving riding
flashing lights making me pull over
where you going?
& I tried being nice tried being not nice
the results were always the same
me in the back of their car
going to a station cell for a couple of hours
sometimes the night
until they’d decide to let me go
occasionally there’d be a charge
which would be dropped or result in token fines
& then I found the silence
no responses no answers
at first I got the usual
but then they seemed to get bored
picking me up putting me in cells
I guess there was no fun anymore
trying to keep me in their system
the silence gave them nothing
to hang their bullshit on
turned the work into a chore
went looking for another talking fool
make the night less long
moving with the wind
come summer
& the tv goes away
switched off there at the wall
living in the northern hemisphere
summer can be fleeting
blink you’ll likely miss it
where winter needs something
help me hide away
but now
we walk out into the world
talk outside
go out into it the all of it
see the world as it is
glorious bright & coloured
moving with the wind
bright sun
as it was before
& will be after
antipathy
we got smiles all around
now
but back then
there were whispers
behind hands
he’s a bad boy
will let you down
& I got the looks
can play the part
what they could not see
is I had the heart
ideas of a kind man
to cut through
get the better plan
be the best friend
that girl could ever have
& now they act
like none of that happened
but they still don’t believe
I am the better man
work arounds
I wasn’t fond of him from the off
he leaned into me in the supermarket
drifting his cart into mine
looking one way rolling the other
another day he saw me walking the street
said nice to bump into you again
& for him that was all a relationship needed
can I buy you a coffee?
& we sat for a while
doing the generalities
when he asked can you look at this for me?
slid a letter into view
& I read it through quiet he asked out loud please
then what d’you think?
I told him best as I could my thoughts
& he asked soft if I’d write those responses
right down there on the line if I’d be so kind
adding in the address & the yours for all time
we never talked about if he could read or write
or discussed how I’d become privy to his personal life
his dealings with authorities the ex wife
seemed to be he never needed any of that
he’d just find work arounds
& from today that was gonna be me
when it comes to clothing
in rags
they will tell you
to get the job you want
wear the clothes for that position
to hitchhike
wear the style
people you want to pick you up
you can’t possibly go out in those pants
that shirt those shoes she tells me
though in the mirror I look passable
it seems to me
just don’t ever wear rags
be who you be
look flat broke on your backside
when it comes to clothing
nobody wants to hear
see your truth
