drinking my wine

she’s drinking my wine

sitting in my chair

Christ on a bike! I think

is this bitch goading me?

she’s already dropped the line

once a teacher always a teacher

with a leery lopsided grin

sucking on my good wine

fat ass sprawled in my favourite chair

telling me how she could be a therapist

no training no philosophy ethics sense

ranting on life issues

like she has lived a thousand lives

not the quiet one she leads

watching tv the soaps quiz shows

snapping answers to feel clever superior

now she thinks the poetry is easy

all ya gotta do she says loud

is put rhymes end of lines

make it sound da da da da Da!

I feel violence in the air

throbbing purple between my ears

checking my watch thinking

I can last for another half hour of this

then she’ll leave go home to silence

meantime I check out the kitchen

the bathroom bedrooms hallways

yep all still there as her voice drones on

tongue thickened by my good wine

& insensitivity

how to say

I think

maybe know now

I offended them

riding through the city

with getting cut off

almost rammed

cars changing lanes

no indication

wannabe racers

challenging at the lights

& all I want to do

is get home to her

end of a working day

but no

they’ve seen the biker flicks

think I’m the evil do’er

makes me public enemy number 1

so when they come up behind

start beeping the horn

I give them the finger

not knowing then

these were people I knew

trying to say hello

how to say now

just

you wouldn’t understand

biter bit

I knew it was time to leave

one night when she was out

I felt I needed

to put a key logger

on our computer

to find

she’d already put one on

to get evidence on me

the biter got bit

I knew it was time to leave

cleared my crap off’f the hard drive

called a friend to help

moved my shit out

surfed a sofa or two

for a week two

until I could begin

rebuild again

first ansaphone

my first ansaphone

hard brown plastic

with a micro cassette

recording my message

with music in the background

to be somehow clever

sophisticated even

looking forward

each night to the red flashing light

just to delete delete delete

from an irate husband

leave my wife alone

angry girlfriend

I know you’re there hiding

riding some slut

the bank

we’d like you to come in please

to discuss your recent transactions

to wonder over & over

why did I buy this piece of crap

just to torture myself?

scarcity

I knew that

I feared scarcity

in love money

the sex thing

took for granted

air light dark

thought

I needed

to earn some of these

while squandering

others

while those around me

held different beliefs

while we both

wanted more

I know nothing

that I know nothing

has at times

been made abundantly clear

despite all of that

I have been known

to take to my feet

deliver life lessons

soliloquies

on the meaning of life

how to live right

& just so we’re clear

more importantly

how very much

not to live your life

all your admission costs are

bring them in

& keep pouring

that way

we are sure to remain friends

finding meaning together

so like a fool

turn right here she goes

no no I protest its further down

turn right she says again

with such surety I turn right

and

we’re lost

again

I have to turn around go back

back to where we started

drive further down

oh why do you listen to me?

she asks all broken up to be wrong

you have this certainty I say

your way is the only way to be

I had to fight my sister every day

she says now all mournful

who would fight black was white

the sky was grey & she was loved more

so like a fool

I listened & forgot to not listen

to her instructions

until the next time

just me

just

my friends pen paper

slowly dissolving through the days

nights

writing trying attempting

to say what I was thinking

feeling even

lost on the street

wanting to reach out

feel something other another

excuse me can I touch you for a while?

knowing how that would be

exclaimed as a pervert

some street molester

to protest no not in that way

just you

just me

in a hug a soft embrace of hold

the cops

you wanted to be held?

try these bracelets

& we’ll hold you for a while downtown

so I didn’t

just me

my friends pen paper

dissolving through the days

nights

gonna kick your ass!

he was screaming at me

making shapes like he meant it

you remind me of my dad

& I hated him!

ok I’m not your Dad

not your whipping boy either

bring it the fuck on

he didn’t

he was enjoying himself too much

in the hurling of threats

huffing puffing his little chest out

I could see he needed help get started

what you remind me of I said soft

y’know when you’re on the crapper?

you think you’re done

you wipe your ass but as you rise

you feel a bit of movement

& you have to sit down again

start over? that’s you

he charged in at that prompt

arms windmilling face all hot red

I stepped aside

let him almost pass by

then caught his knee with my foot

he went down fast holding his knee

cursing again but we both knew

he was not going to get up for a while

walking away shaking my head

the things a man has to go through

to get some peace

that time is gone

she loved him every day

she says crying on the phone

& me?

I’m in listening mode

not gonna argue the toss today

I loved him cared for him

& now he & me are over

I gotta find somewhere else to stay

like here would be possible…

I’m listening not talking

holding my hand

right there over my mouth

like I did the times before

she called in to complain

about his lazy ass his drinking

his lack of work doing anything

& if time runs true to form

she’ll call again a day or two

tell me all about

we made it up back again

hows life with you?

& I keep quiet hanging on

letting her run on

the time for telling truth to her?

that time is gone