two fisted
booth back of the bar
eye line for doors exits
old habits die hard
I was two fisted drinking
thinking pbr & jd
my good buddies just might
pull me thru’
when I saw her walk in
look around
make a shrug take a long sigh
order from the barkeep
came over carrying
this seat taken?
as she took the pew
sighing again
I knew I’d find you here
old habits eh?
she didn’t mention the fight
so I thought it best
if I didn’t too
Dear Neil
we’d like to invite you submit a poem
and to attend our annual poetry awards ceremony
this yearly event (since 1996) awards poets of merit
such as you
prestigious honors for their outstanding work
the ceremony is held in the XXXX 4 star hotel just outside sunny Los Angeles
on the 24th poets from all over the world will gather and receive awards
from $1000 to the overall Gold winner $500 for the Silver award and $250 for the
Bronze award winner other awards will be given of $100 each
all award winners will be included in this years annual awards winner anthology
these will be available after the event for $20 & will be sent to your home
we hope you will be able to attend as we feel your work is certainly worthy of a prize
rooms in the hotel are $300 including a buffet breakfast
other rooms in other hotels nearby are of course available our team will be happy
to help you find a booking
we hope you can attend our gala event on the 24th
to book your place at a table please send a $50 booking fee per person
this includes a light supper which does not include wine or drinks
book your place now by calling us on: using any major credit card
or by post to: enclosing a personal cheque
all attendees will receive a poetry awards lanyard & prize program
Your awards team
Laurie Syche-Ophant
I don’t quite
know who or when
but that stick got stuck
right up there in her ass
what I do know was
she was standing in front of me
with a not faint sneer on painted face
you’re not very sophisticated are you?
like I wanted to be
had hung that shameful label
on my door around my neck
I don’t do snobbery I offered
if that’s what you mean?
oh dear came the sigh
I mean subtlety shading refinement
like you’re doing now? I interrupted
which seemed to agitate the stick further
I can’t expect you to understand!
maybe you could try leading by example?
I said then to her stiff rapidly walking away back
there are no winners or losers in this
but one of us will sip brandy tonight
without needing it to be a label brand
there in the camp site showers
using the long echo of the place
some young fellas
were doing impressions
of de niro from taxi driver
you talkin’ to me?
you talkin’ to me?
but their French accents
were getting in the way
that & the giggles
so from behind my door
I answered low
well
the who else you talkin’ to?
I’m the only one here…
the echo dwindled
as the silence grew
& I felt it best if I left
who the fuck do you think
you’re talkin’ to
for maybe another day
you can do me here
she offered
with a lascivious smile
wide as a prison gate
I’ll just lift my skirt
& how to refuse?
but I did
suggesting maybe later
thinking much much later
if ever at all
after her fella was asleep
with the dope & booze
he was two fisting
in the corner of the bar
your loss she murmured
drifting away
to find another dope
& sure enough
half an hour gone
her fella
& the wannabe fuckee
were in the alleyway
fighting
I don’t know how I knew
but I knew
instincts maybe
there was a time
I wanted to run
cut loose
just fly
& she did not let go
became
the anchor
in that time & space
while
I worked through
what was real
just shit in my head
& when
that smoke cleared
she was still standing by
with a smile
we had us a good run
took them years
for us a decade or so
before the truth got out
they hated me
everything I stood for
they’d been interpreting
right from the start
where I thought felt
I’d been operating
right from the heart
their hate bubbled out
rancid streams of piss
puke bile y’know the score
& I felt a sense of relief
thank fuck for all of that
at least from now on
I don’t have to bother
playing nice to these
smiling faces hiding hate
anymore
I got a call
where are you?
right now I said
I’m on the other side of the world
we were wondering where you were
as we hadn’t heard from you
in a while
I’d say 8 months give a week or two
that long?
I could hear the puzzle there in the voice
yeah that long
I figured if you didn’t notice my presence
then you might not notice my absence
they rang off
pretending not to understand
which was understood
by all of us
even believe it themselves
they will say out loud that they love you
may even
believe it themselves
yet when you point out the gap
between theory & practice
the real feelings emerge
& all it was
I pointed out their controlling
the way they arranged everything
to suit themselves
not us their guests
when we stayed in their home
on one of the islands in the sun
please give us a little privacy
leave our shit alone
maybe not rearrange us
do our washing hang it on the line?
if you make the bed like in hotels
can I have that mint on the pillow
please?
I ended up wearing her man’s drawers
they’re black she said just the same
oh no I noticed right away I said
mine are baggier in the front
heavier balls you see
don’t you know?
bumps you get to see
feel
share in the pain given
but the unseen
unheard
unspoken of
daily drudge
of the unkind
unnecessary
create the teen
growing into adult
thinking
feeling
this
is
how the world is
& your kindness
offer to help
probably
possibly
will be seen
in the light of this
as
just more
to come
