redneck blues

broken home got whispered

loud enough to hear

just enough to deny

if I raised an eye

more if I raised a fist

poor boy doesn’t know

any better never knew

his mother never got kissed

& in later days

when the law found me

reports got to get made

poor boy never knew

his father much

never did get raised

in any other way than wild

what can we do?

seemed to me the song

of these do gooders

paid by the state

teachers cops & preachers

when it all seemed clear

to me at least a little kindness

some warmth in winter

encouraging words rather

than stripes on my back

give a poor boy

half a chance

invite me in from the cold

make new from happenstance

reasons to leave #54

finding out how life really is

in my early teens

local working mans club

opened its doors Friday nights

called it a disco for kids

playing current tunes

we’d go get sweaty

dancing & drinking cokes

& maybe if lucky

take a girl outside get a kiss or two

one cold winter night

rain coming down

me n her took shelter

in a strip row over the road

just being built roof over no windows

concrete stink nothing else at all

we’re sat on a pile of bricks

entwined & kissing

when a bright light got shone

come out of there! shouted sharp

local police all fierce & hard

he took my name my address

said he’d be in touch

but the bit that stays with me

showed how life was played

his only words to her were

you can go

letting me know this was not

to be my last roust in his town

pulling in

another strange town

you need to pay attention

are you uptown downtown

or in the bad part of town?

tired as I was couldn’t not

see a cop car coming along

them stopping to watch as I fill up

along your way you’ve learned

not to try & stare them out

but also not to show nervous

let them know you’re an easy mark

& as I leave another cruiser arrives

then I see a cop on the corner

another one down the street

as one more car came out in front

shit! now I got cop cars back & front

those others pushing their shoes

just then a car in front runs a red light

on go the blues & two’s

& I breathe a sigh of relief

further down I see a supermarket

pull in for supplies & park up thankful

for a chance to draw an easy breath

then I notice over the road

a police training school

which explains a lot

but I still won’t feel safe

until I reach the next town

let the wanderers blues go down

bumping

I can see him now

only in my minds eye

as he left us

some little while ago

faded blue jeans

black leather vest

long dark hair

skinny as a racing snake

rocking to & fro

nailed to his spot

hanging off

that solid as a tree trunk

long neck jazz bass

bumping rock steady

strong lines laid down

for the rest to follow

working with the drummer

to push to pull

bumping on

rock steady

like there was

& is

no tomorrow

already

have you noticed?

I ask

yes I have is the response

that’s normal

is how things are

& what I want to say is

oh ok

then how come

you haven’t told me?

because

what I think

is really going on here

she is saying

shut up

I don’t want

to be

in conversation

with you

so I do

shut up

that is

because people like this

can never change

it is you

they want to change

being perfect

in themselves

already

as if right?

stroganoff

cutting onions

& my mind drifts

to one of the blondes

who gave herself to me

tho’ she was not

hers to give

having promised fidelity

to the fella she married

she taught me this recipe

of chicken & paprika

that subtle spice

she brought to this dish

& my life

for such a short time

& it must be the onions

pushing feelings

where there ought

be none

as I stand & watch

the mixture bubble

marinade

people come & go

leaving traces

half memories

& recipes to do the things

you did not once

know how to do

but do now

thank you

foreign muck

we’d ridden hard

to get over the border

out into the heat

at the Mercado

I bought sausages bread & charcoal

& out of the way from people

who can always be difficult

I got a barbecue going

out of the trees stepped a stranger

possibly attracted

by the smell of cooking

he told me he was travelling with god

no money no job

just trusting the lord to provide

it was about then one of our crew

rejected the sausages as foreign muck

I looked at the stranger there in the sun

handed him the bocadillo

grateful he said a prayer & melted away

much to my mates pissed off surprise

he’d wanted an argument

to push him into eating foreign foods

& now would go hungry

but hey

the good lord works

in mysterious ways

on a long string

lady walking

around the campsite

with her cat

on a long string

travelling together

in her vw van

smiling at everybody

bonjour bona dia

good morning

guten morgen

buenos dias

then later

as she leaves

ciao

g’bye adios

a’voir

off on their travels

her

& the meow

standing on a tall dune

we were here

spread out along the coast

every 2miles or so

standing watching

for ships boats submarines

aircraft of any kind

sweltering in summer

freezing in winter

in the heat a sail for shade

winter a concrete hut

to slow the wind

that still found its way in

we couldn’t have a stove

as that would show smoke

give away our positions

all we had was a rifle

the clothes on our backs

greatcoats for cold shirts for sun

& a pair of binoculars

if we spotted anything

a pencil & pad

which we reported on after 12 hours

of watching this great sea

we were forbidden to swim in

but nobody said nothing

about fishing so we did

to supplement our rations

which were poor

there was a war on don’t you know?

where she had me

tho’ I did not know it then

was in fear

when I thought it was lust

teasing out

easing out

my fantasies

distorted ideas

of pleasure

& these

would be used

in the shaming game

her power role

that she

had never

made clear

this was not

one of those

show me yours

& I will

show you mine

shame was to be

a one way street