another time

as a musician

you don’t hear music the way

that I do

she said plain

if with a touch of malice

to add colour to explanation

tell me then I said

eyes open ears the same

what is it

that you bring to the party?

she began with words

something about subtlety

exploration affinity to rhythm

love of melodies deep joy

when the right notes hit the line

sounds like

good poetry to me

I said all subtle soft

oh no! she cried anybody

can do that poetry stuff

but only a true musician gets music

are we talking snobbery here?

I asked all polite

my turn for the malice pin

y’know she said face all stone

there are times

I know exactly why I hate you

that’s a great line I thought

but never said out loud

I’ll save it for another time

they find ways

a mistimed note

jarring in the third ear

door closing to the third eye

& you know

deep down to your shoes

the first hint of the long goodbye

begins

darker nights approaching

they find ways to let you know

before they find words

articulate the letting go

to say this is so

throwing you out of bed

is too clumsy blunt

as is changing the locks

better if hints come slow

not the school of hard knocks

leaving space for a change of mind

if other better offers don’t come

for you to sense change of pace

a cooling between the sheets

helping you make you think

its you who chose to go

Refreshment had been taken

Refreshment had been taken

of that we were sure

backwoods backyard France

walking in the middle of the road

round four in the afternoon

leaning in creating an A

to help get themselves home

she being two thirds his height

completely in night black

boots jeans blouse waistcoat hair

he in skinny blue jeans silver shirt

brown cowboy boots pigeon toe

we drove around them recognising

that being the humane thing to do

wondering where they’d been

where were they headed to?

this being in the middle of nowhere

& five minutes later

we turned to each other asked

did we really see that?

as you do

Nietszche

reading Nietszche

to be told for us god is dead

everything is now

but physics at play

nature in tooth & claw

holding sway

feeling the disappointment

when I wanted more

searching to understand

finding metaphor

the lover you love more than day

you find has another lover

when you thought they were yours

that sense of bewilderment

knowing this to be true

but still wanting to hold onto

what you once knew to be true

to my grave

I hear you’re talking proud

giving secrets out loud

knowing I can keep yours

won’t do the same for you

I will take them to my grave

because what you don’t know is

the real power lies

in these being untold

the other truth you don’t know

too will take to my grave

the shame embarrassment

I feel at mention of your name

that I gave so much

for so little return

help yourself notice free

photographs

open box side of the road

help yourself notice free

the flotsam jetsam detritus

of another life gone

family have picked over

left these waifs & strays

& I’m interested to look in

voyeur into a different world

happy smiling faces

wedding? birthday?

strange clothing from a not so

distant past era aeon

playing guess the decade

clues from hairstyles

clothes fashions smoking or not

everybody pleased to be there

dressed up in their best duds

only to be discarded

by time

surplus to requirement

abandoned by the side

of the road

they come

& sit for a long time

& I have no clue

as to what they want

if I’m lucky

they bring booze

have something to say

unfortunately more often

they want to drink mine

pretend to listen to what I say

to later

rip that apart

with other people

masquerading as friends

& I’d rather

sit in an empty room

my faux silver radio on low

background sounds

chirping away

knowing the company

wants to be there

like a raw scent

Before I got comfortable

with me

I’d go looking

for the right bar

right group of friends

right girl

to make everything

right

in the world

to find slow

that is not how things

were going to be

people sniff need in the air

like a raw scent

loneliness

like mould on a peach

you want love?

you better not need it

wanting friends acquaintances

money place to sleep

the stink will roil off’f you

the crowd will sense that coming

as you walk down the street

only wanting a friendly face

a good place to meet?

try indifference

as your new face

that will get you around

priapus

I love that every morning

as sure as the stars

rise in the night

this stick will stir

raise its head to the light

I have a hard on for my hard on

If you will

much like the mystery of the pyramids

this magic occurs over & over

without my effort or will

though the death eaters

come for me

warning one day I will wake up

find my priapic rod

soft & lost in the desert of my youth

my destiny then

will need a little blue pill

but until then my friends

let those of us

who sail on hms morningwood

enjoy her glorious masthead

never may she fail

Take her down easy

we’re sitting around as we do

nursing cold ones

soft spitting out stories

half truths demi lies

reflecting on how we’ve lived

the ways we chose

as he starts in

I know a score out there

easy money lying around

this drug runner know where lives

we could go in

I know the right time to go

can take him down easy

set us up flush for a month or two

 & we look at each other

sitting easy on our backsides

hoping for an easy hour or three

but now now we must stand up

be in control again

find our way out of this man

discover a way to say no

without using that negative word

make sure nothing said

can ever be construed as a yes

because most of all we know

we are not the kind of guys

falling for such a story

that there is ever any easy money

only dark doors dealing death