she had

sitting quiet the end of my fave dive bar

those deep blue eyes

the kind I always fell into

tho’ recognising these as the mark

of the seasoned souse

then I watched her hands

saw her control these like white doves

in a magicians hat

only the occasional tremble

to give away she was starting todays

topping up

I bought her a drink

what else was I gonna do?

making false promises to me to not get involved

& as the afternoon wore on

her story got told

the usual fluff of men who couldn’t wouldn’t didn’t

ghosts who were now gone

how now she was on her own

which I didn’t believe for a second

a woman like this always having a back-up plan or man

& sure enough a couple of hours in

fella walks up kissed her cheek: you’ve found a friend?

she smiled back: you still got that game to go to?

oh yes he murmured taking the hint

& was gone

it was about then

I began the mental check on my money

what was in my wallet counting my rings

hoping I wasn’t wearing my best watch

bought her a couple more drinks

as we slid into evening

& you would not know she’d been drinking all day

with her voice steady

no highs & lows of the casual drunk

shall we go back to mine? she asked gentle

get a bottle on the way?

& that was it

just about four hours to get into

that rotten relationship of blurred boundaries

buzzed in the afternoon

& I knew even if I didn’t know it then

this would take me 2 years

to climb out of

One thought on “she had

  1. Pingback: 💥Peace & Truth

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