there

under the trees

stopping at the side of the road

taking a walk

long slopes cool breeze

how do you know this place?

oh I’ve stopped here for years

clear my head

sit & listen to the birds

& there just there I think

under the trees is where

I made love to her

but I cannot tell you that

for you that’s diseased

& I can feel ghosts

tugging soft at my sleeve

we sit for five minutes

that feel like hours

c’mon we got miles to do

thank you for stopping

she smiles it’s a nice place

I’m pleased

you’ve shared this with me

talk they said

come in take a seat

be comfortable

tell us what’s going on

& I noticed straightway

she kept the desk between

leaning on a new note pad

used the word us

which meant we

that anything I said here

would be shared

& I wanted to scream

shout out loud long

the shit going on

but had felt the thin door

the people sitting outside

so I swallowed that down

kept everything schtum

I see here you’ve been disruptive

getting into trouble in class

so what’s going on?

& where to begin

with this nice lady

not a hair out of place?

I knew how this would run

to give even a morsel

would bring down

another if different

world of pain

well ok if you won’t talk

be very careful

we’re keeping our eyes on you

letting me know now

I was the lucky one

to be holding all the badness

while everybody around

only reflected sun

what kind of beast

where I lived

getting over you

over me

shared bathroom

on a dark hallway landing

leading to a faded cream door

double bed

chair by the door

next to the chest of drawers

a counter dividing the kitchenette

sink top hot plate fire door

to the steel escape & window

looking out over the city

rooftops dead chimney pots

that I painted more than once

on cardboard box tops

that you probably threw away

gone to landfill

lino & thin carpet floor

what kind of beast

deserves more?

not my intent

these feelings of foolish

I’m putting on you

we’d not met for some time

you were distant remote

not coming on true

& the times we’d had

the things we’d shared

seemed to be all gone

long lost forgotten

& I’ve buried animals

the cats dogs of my youth

planted them deep

stop them becoming prey

& if that’s how you felt

I was a jackal digging down

to feast on rotten remains

I’m sad & sorry for you

felt you needed push me away

that was not my intent

mine was to rekindle friendship

touch upon the common we had

not unearth revive the pain

for the fun of reliving hate

adios compadre my friend

I wont be coming your way soon

be trying again