come to me
middle of the day
afternoons
night times
that little space
side of the road
halfway up
a brown mountain
camping out of the way
hearing the goat bells
& always but always
a dog in the distance
hearing something snuffling
around us outside
just before the dawn
then that local café
full of talkers
wanting to know why
we’d stopped
in their backwater town
telling us tales their lives
before we moved on again
these places
come in to my mind
like those times
I think of you
then go again
these places
we used to know
I came here once
with you
but not you
& neither
would recognise
these places
as they are now
all growed up
bigger older
more suburban
maybe even bloated
with success
change that to excess
& we could be talking
bout me
I found all these places
had experiences
only you were not there
& I could tell you
all about them
but why should you care
just words from a weary traveller
tales of wonder woe
places you & I could go
I was tired of living in hotels
meeting working with strangers
eating drinking sleeping alone
coming home to you
who never knew
how much time I’d been away
there on my own
thinking of you
creating odd connections to places
this woolly hat
I found in a frozen puddle
Chilliwack
her cute socks
we discovered under
our cheap hotel bed
Seattle
making sure
we had left nothing behind
creating memories of good people
my native design blue white
jacket keeping me warm now
the store clerk in macy’s
gave me friends & family discount
& more for a dirt mark on the cuff
we were are travelling light of funds
& on
shirts from Reno thrift
jeans downtown discount places
wearing t shirts end of range
tying us to towns
cities landscapes
more
I was waiting
on the corner
behind doors
in other peoples rooms
dark nights no friends
to take me home
looking for you
hoping for a call
& when we met
I could not tell you this
say the words to you
roads I walked alone
places I sat hoping
to catch a glimpse
something I could
claim as my own
for fear you’d feel reproach
that you were not there
where I wanted only
to soft blow the spark
build a fire
I wanted to be gone
& to be true
I felt my people
wanted me gone too
one less mouth to feed
more cash for the booze
but where to go?
loving the sun the beach
the mountains lakes
green meadows blue skies
so many places
where to choose?
& knowing nowhere
could now be home
setting out for something
to be always alone
never settling here
wanting to be over there
somewhere else with you
I went there
slowly back to where I was born
local cottage hospital
& that was no more
new houses planted on the spot
another place & time
the street I remember playing in
ragged homes now holding age
tired at the edges
& not a face I could put feelings on
the field I built my bonfires
had forts warfare battles
gone
everything from there
now needs be held within
all external evidence vanished
sentiment holds time in place
places years & faces
& I know I wanted changes
yet I never knew
I needed something to hold onto
too
neilbenbow 