some days

the abyss stares back

days there was nothing

walking to & from school

the park

going to bed

waking up

the only thing holding me

was me there in the dark

beyond boredom

loneliness left behind

walking up the stairs

only to pass down again

& they asked if I had the blues

& I said I wished it were

at least then

I’d have a name

something I could cling to

indoor coward

those winter days

rolled through slow

times I couldn’t afford the gas

stayed under the covers for warm

& wondered if today was the day

to let it all go

end the pain

there were pills there

being an indoor coward

I feared the rope & kicking

pills & booze & wait in hope

there was enough to do the job

& waking up the next day

the next day

understanding finally

the loneliness had found a home

it was time to make peace