& every now & then she’d stir

she wasn’t a bad person

just had nothing to say

could sit hours straight

watching the box all day

soaps reality tv gossip stuff

& every now & then she’d stir

go make a snack put the coffee on

I’d drop in suggest we go out

but first the recorder needed on

schedule consulted in case

she might miss some programme

then & only then having considered

she might put foot out the door

& somewhere along the way

I began to forget to pick her up

found myself involved elsewhere

she wasn’t a bad person

just had nothing to say

the drug had taken her over

how come

he’s bored he says

there’s nothing new in the world

nobody got much to say

of interest vitality worth

& where to start?

are you getting out much?

I try as preamble

no man it’s all a ball ache

the queues the lines people

money to spend

the box?

yeah I watch mebbe 3 or 4 channels

the rest is drivel y’know?

reading? I go

everybody good is dead

the new is just a rehash

newspapers are dead trees

full of opinion that don’t count

yeah yeah I get I say

I wonder just how come

you’re bored…

bubbles insidious

why I despise tv

there she was

the rich fat socialite

spaffing out loud

I only like parties

with winners

actors business men

people who win

have something going on

not dull people

those with a chip

on their shoulders

smiling as she knew

the world was hers to run

& I’m seeing this

up high end of bar tv

surrounded by people

who would never

get to be there

I got caught for a moment

was I dull? do I have a chip?

& then I remembered

Bubbles married a billionaire

is why she gets to spew

such bilious shit

she won a rich man

& that was it

her winning

comforts

I need comforts now

never needed before

half hanging onto belief systems

thin pillows ‘til light

letting others be

when before their rage

would pain me

the dis comforts slights

of the ill informed

letting them slide by

as I mutter cba

can’t be arsed

with the idiocy that is

the general population

ill informed

uninformed by anything

but the what’s on tv

news reels sliding beneath

another way

I’d drive them out of the city

sensation seeking students

& sometimes aspiring ne’er do wells

who the city wanted put straight

driving out to nature

where I’d walk them down a trail

to a full green valley bowl

scatter them off to disperse

find a spot by themselves

just sit for a while

four hours maybe five

until they heard the come here whistle

& some would come back too soon

unable to be alone

to be set back off again go complete

& at the end of the exercise

some would complain

of the tedium boredom isolation

the long dragging day

others would say felt like minutes

& the long drive home

was full of silence as the experience

of no phones no tv no people

just sitting by themselves

settled into their bones

now they knew

there was another way

projects never completed

home building

there on the tv

putting in heat pumps

the man says prices

are the lowest in years

& I reach for the phone

must talk with Tel

we talked on this years ago

& my hand wavered

as I remembered

he’s been gone a year now

the heat pump

to warm his pool

will never happen

& I’m a fool for forgetting

some projects

phone calls

are never completed

like friendships

in the here & now

worst part

of growing up

moving away from toys

to being interested in people

was finding the lie

everything it seemed

was made

composed of great lies

my parents marriage

school rules

rules on the street

bullshit on the tv

the closer I looked

the more I saw

the smoke & mirrors

illusion

difference between

what people said

& what they actually did

out there

sitting on the porch

of a once great motel

my own little patch of history

of motor court travelling

coke & ice machines on the corner

tho’ only the ice is working now

looking out at the night coming in

waiting for the neon to flicker

the clouds getting darker

the dying sun lighting their undersides

are you coming in? she calls

& all I’ve got in there is tv

maybe some loving later on

here I have everything I need

history nostalgia culture

a few cold beers in dripping free ice

thinking on of who else has sat here

wondering where what

tomorrow

the miles will bring