& she was

one of those women

who will do anything for you

but you can never quite touch

find your way into

not remote

not stand offish

just never quite there

present but away somewhere

responsive though I felt

her agenda lay elsewhere

& to ask outright

what do you want?

is an affront

expectations being

if she did not want to be here

then she wouldn’t

people got insurance

there at the bar

man is feeling flush

had a little touch last night

& tonight he’s all flash

new suit new shoes

new shirt new attitude

& who cares if some no mark


is missing some jewellery tv cash?

he’s at the bar buying beers

& no one here is gonna ask

where the money he got came from

people got insurance don’t they?

the damage done

ignorance was not on my side

despite my best intentions

they had me marked

as some kind of beast

worthy of nothing

call it thug

& what could I do?

once they’ve named you

put the shame into the world

there is no road back to be free

& how could I tell them

the times here all alone

listening to Patty Griffin

into the long night

letting the tears just be

wanting to feel

some other touch

other than my own

& knowing the damage is done