revelations

I took my white handled athame

down to the beach start of the day

& as the sun caught tip of the waves

I threw it & the last I had of you in

I’d returned the photos records

books clothes intimates of will

but for my last precious part of you

tied to my athame flung far as I could

& as I saw it arc then sink into the sea

I chanted a spell cutting the cord

that bound you to me me to you

the ocean took all of that in away

our bond was cut now not to be again

I sat on a sun burnt bench for a while

watching waiting whether for hope or fail

in case the tide brought us back again

& then for a brief moment bare waving arms

of dead sailors accepting my gift with wishes

it was then I knew the hex had taken hold

walked away with words echoing my head

I’m going to miss that pearl white handle

my faithful athame in my hand my heart

over & over now never helping spells

incantations rituals until I will get old

brujeria

sitting with a small group

in the library Spanish class

hot inside on a cold day outdoors

& the demon walks by

while nobody notices

their heads hypnotically drop

a young woman carrying a bundle

like a baby on hip supported

but in those arms is a black mask of hate

red staring demotic eyes

bright white teeth ready to snap

thinking is this how madness comes?

then I smell her thick cloying perfume

hints of formaldehyde

there to cloak the smell of dead

& I know somebody here

in this group wishes one of us unwell

who is the bruja or brujo practicing on?

& it is time to cast the protection spell

Dust on the wind

love goes

comes fleetingly

& when it goes

there ain’t no bringing back

no use lighting fires

there on the beach

casting spells to the waves

burning candles for hope

wishing on wednesdays

for whoever that was

is now clear out of reach

the best you can say

there must be dust in the wind

brings a tear to my eye

& if your friends are the true kind

they too will blink

call out

aye

 

shewed

Sometime in my late teens

& nothing

was working out for me

I found this old book

that showed

shewed

how to cast spells

& in those shoes

you think why not?

so I made my way

into the forest

telling no one where I was

found a hill

one full moon night

nervous

expectant

wondering

I laid my offerings

out to the four points

of the compass

had a drink

maybe two

for comfort

the book told

to piss in a circle

while reciting

the formula on the page

I did this

thankful of the drinks

then stood in the middle

& waited

waited some more

the moon got higher

some clouds covered it over

& it got dark

I could just about see

my offerings

I turned the circle

to see them

& as I turned again

they were gone

it was then I heard

a snicker

almost a giggle

from all around me

I sat

In the centre of the circle

& waited

for whatever

may come next

I woke with the dawn

having slept

for some six hours

no dreams

no nightmares

just a good nights sleep

there next to me

a note

‘this spell is not over

It has just begun’

 

 

Trying not to care

weeks I never left the room

wasn’t in drink

drugs

no tv

just lost the point

need

to go out

the shack job had once

had everything I needed

though I knew

that had come to an end

I was either sleeping

catatonic

staring at the walls

I began reading

anything I could get my hands on

soaking up words

sucking them in

back of chemical bottles in the can

breakfast boxes

looking for something

to hold on to

she wanted me out

gone

just couldn’t find

her words to say

i’d ceased being useful

to her

in my trying to find some pattern

did not want me there

my lust for her

had dissipated

some time ago

the lie we had worn thin

this was a clinging

nobody wanted

a friend called

while she was seeing a friend

c’mon man lets get you out

of here

left a note

thank you for everything

i’m gone

& like that

a few pale words

on a slight bit of card

&

the spell was broken