flying home

G to E after a week working in S

an hours journey supposed to be

diverted to M because of snow

so I caught a train from the airport to C

after a ‘phone call asking if I could stay over

another train to S to stop at my stepmothers

the old family home

she couldn’t drive out to me she told as it was dark

so I walked the four miles to her house there

via the grog shop of course two cans of Newcastle brown

& a half bottle of gin

needing something after the freezing night air

we sat together the tv turned up to 11

as she is slightly deaf if too vain for deaf aids

offered me a slice of toast was all she had in she said

as I sat warming up trying to decompress from the hours

of trains the turmoil the walking the cold

drinking my cans of newkie’ brown

the tv was all reality shows or soaps with people

going on or shouting at each other

when she asked

you know my filigree silver cup?

the one with the blue glass bowl?

I think so I offered

well since you were last here I can’t find it

no idea I said downing the second can

then getting up to take a call in the kitchen

from my love in our home there in the Devon snow

I’ll be on a train home tomorrow its five hours

if they’re running there wasn’t one tonight

I’ll see you soon hope you’ve got enough wood in

for the log burner xx night night

& went back in to the roar of the tv

the half of gin

where observing me from her la-z-boy she offered

you do drink a lot don’t you?

are you some kind of alcofrolic?

passing thru’

I was taking photographs

pix of everything I could

the cactus rocks sand sky

Joshua trees

to have some reminder later

in colder places

that I had actually been here

the feeling in my frozen feet

from snow on the high plateau

would be gone

but not completely forgotten

like the snow

I was just

passing thru’

happy pills

he told me

a little while before he died

they told him he was depressed

put him on the happy pills

& I knew I could not try

begin to explain

the shit he’d gone through

& keeping everything inside

is the cause the reason

alpha to omega due

the happy pills would do nothing

help in any easing of pain

the only way out to talk

& I knew saying let it rain

let everything go was no good

to this silent warrior

always stood tall mute no matter

the night freezing dark ice snow hail

everything thrown his way

would not help him find the sun

this or any other day

hardtail blues

I hear ‘em moaning

500 miles

there n back

riding through winds

sleet the rain & the snow

& we stopped frozen

motel middle of nowhere

the cold stuck to our hands

& the next day we got up

went on our way again

aching in damp shoulders

hard tail blues singing

when you start out

y’gotta keep going

or you will never get to the end

& I hear ‘em moaning

but you & I know

next year

we will be back this way

again