yellow & purple stare down

sitting on the kerb with you

drunk again

failing to understand

where everything went wrong

trying to untie a wet knot

soaked in your tears

case hardened by flames

& the streetlights

yellow & purple stare down

creating shadows bruises

where I don’t need blame

I know in this you were clear

I’d made everything go wrong

the faults were at my door

in the low notes you laid there

pushing crimson feelings shame

& saying I love you

will never be enough

to turn back the clock

break it all down

start over again

Atlantic coast

the kind of campsite

where if you don’t hear the roar

of the trees the pines

you hear the surf night & day

the season was closing fast

everybody local had gone away

when I found him in the shadows

he told me he was travelling

with jesus

hoping to find his way

between here & Santiago

& those I asked are your plans?

more for fear for him

with winter closing in

as I noticed jesus had not provided shoes

a tent winter coat or map

& he sighed long & low

like this question was raised by everybody

by fools who did not know

the lord is here with us now

he said smiling again

who needs shoes on holy ground?

& all I could see were shadows

stones & sand

a scruffy dirty traveller

standing alone

questioning just who

was the mad one

here

strong in the shadows

driving deep in the urban sprawl

not paying attention to much

I was indeed in sleepy town

traffic pulling 20-25 tops

& I caught a thin glimpse

of a side street alleyway running through

& flashbacked to my youth

I was strong in the shadows then

running these back ways

to get my shit done earn a little bit

carrying stuff to them

taking this n that back

staying off the main routes

away from prying eyes

I had ladies here & there

I’d drop in say hi make it a surprise

afternoons of easy love

a man with little inclination

always needs shelter from the storm

& then be gone back on my way again

jerked back to now

the traffic stalls

another cotton top trying to reverse park

running errands for supper I guess

I sigh & wait for something to happen

nothing changes only the game

shadows on the wall

I needed a piss

& being in the middle of nowhere

I pissed between the bikes

& he got all upset

it was over his precious bike

explanation nor apology

would cut it

as he began to square up

are you fucking serious?

I asked, all incredulous

he was a pretty college boy

playing at being biker boyz

on a bike his folks had paid for

when he graduated

from some good school

I was waiting for his fists to come up

I’d sidestep him kick his knee out

& improvise from there

yeah, ok, man, he went

just don’t do it again right?

trying to place emphasis

& that coming out in all the wrong places

I knew then we’d never be friends again

he didn’t like what I might do

& I didn’t like what he couldn’t

the real reason was over some woman

he wanted, didn’t want him

& I’d squeezed her for a while

before letting her go

he told people later

I was too casual with life

would spoil nice things

& of course I asked them

are you fucking serious?