got into it

shouting pathetic rages

she was indeed one of those women

who break every now & then

thinking feeling balance

needs a shouting bout

to even up the passion of love

I was a lousy lover when drinking

I’d turn over start snoring

& she felt rebuffed

ok ok I hear you I offered

thinking knowing change never comes

that if I took the bait we’d be here

hating hurting until the night comes

any apology would bring another verse

I fixed her a drink gave her a hug

& she pushed me away hard

sitting drinking it for her thinking oh man

how long lord will this one last?

steamed windows

the true way

the only way

when the gig is over

love is done

is to pack up all your shit

move out the same day

don’t leave a note

be there when she comes home

say

this is over

give her the keys

& walk away

but no

we gotta have reasons

post mortems

discussions arguments

please stays

& all you wanna say

is remember baby

the days

when we steamed up the windows?

all that passion has long been gone

& today

I woke up

understanding

they were never

gonna come again

we go to see

this woman

I had something with once

felt things for I think

& she leans in

only a peck on the cheek

on the painted face

I’m searching for clues

now

where once

I presume

I felt passion

& she talks of how I was

with her

her friends

& the ghosts crowd in

I remember nothing

of her or them

though they feel

they owned

a part of me

enough to feel happy

about that dead past

Imperfect lover

I read

tried to read

the books

on how to be a better lover

with some there was

indeed

an oral exam

but no matter how I tried

this was never good enough

with lovers full of

do what you want to do

the lie

it’s all about you baby

& the chapter

on how to deal with

what to do with

the whispered in ear

fantasies during passions

were missing

or never quite clear