now

it would seem

the only authority

now

is yourself

as in

nobody wants to listen

be told

anything

by anybody

anymore

try it

I reckon

you’ll find out

Zen & now

the idea being

from the koans

what was your original face

the sound of one hand clapping?

to let go

live in the now

be present

go with the flow

which may be all good to go

as a monk

drifting from village to town

begging for rice fish heads

if apparently not ideal

for modern living

they thought me

a daydreamer

waste of time

this pillar not of wisdom

but wasted skin & bone

& now

they forget they made their positions plain

back then there was nothing for me

except very much more of the same

shame slander embarrassment & pain

tho’ they wonder why I set my face to go

away from them out happy into the rain

to sleep on beds of freezing bricks & cold

struggling to find something to hold on to

as they whisper now we have always been here

they forget I remember the nights no answers

their telephone ringing no ansaphone clear

no letters replied no responses no call backs

the times they kicked the dog no mind

I learned to stand maybe a little crooked

nevermind my leanings I grew them myself

sometimes sitting or standing these two feet

do things

didn’t we?

used to

y’know do things

other than this?

& we did

the memories are there

still strong

but now

we don’t anymore

& it’s harder to pinpoint

when we stopped

easier to point

who is to blame

& as much as I look

I can’t put the finger

on me

I was the one tryin’

but the sighs in the night

those fed up

roll your eyes looks

kill a man inside

sure it’s a slow death

but who wants to stick around

die tryin for that?

to be an adventurer

to return to places

is now

to be an adventurer

for what was

is now not is

the eye gets drawn to the differences

the houses bars shops

filling in  with places

where there used to be spaces

plots for vegetal

peasant peon poverty smallholdings

& the offer has changed

from rural to mccy’d’s

burger king Kentucky fried sunglass hut

o’neill swimwear rayban surfer dudes

chain supermarkets offering the same

no need to sprechensee le lingo

everybody habla hello ciao

grazie a’voir prego danke

nein danke bitte merci thank you

have a nice day

& we swear to never return

but what is

will not be

next time