these days

through the border into spain

mid morning over the pyrenees

the hog growling off rock walls

all I heard was wind & purring

enjoying leaning the curves

then suddenly

cars across the road

machine guns being waved

we were stopped dead

a hand demanding papers

in that universal sign language

we took our helmets off

they saw the blonde

& everything changed

as that always does

they waved us on

later that day on the news

we saw the big story of the day

they’d picked up an ETA fella

being moved over the mountains

back of a Yamaha

that being how they do these things

these days

disappointed

banging on my door late at night

that was the word she used

disappointed

that we wouldn’t be going on together

& all she wanted

right now

was a conversation

about her disappointment

which I didn’t

figuring I’d been clear

I didn’t like her lies obfuscations

ways of being

the wanting to control

& this conversation

to me was just more of the same

against my better judgement I let her in

checking where all knives were first

instead

she threw boiling water at me

missing close as I swerved

so she called the cops

made allegations

when I physically lifted threw her out

thankfully they hauled her off

seeing the mess made

& I made sure

I moved very soon after that

coming round

we’d tried for a while

& I liked her some

but felt no spark

no lift of wings

but she kept coming round

would dust the place

move stuff around

& for a motherless boy

there is comfort there

never gave her a key

just a soft tap at the door

& she’d be here again

offering foods she’d bring

& every now & then

she’d bend in such a way

those legs’d catch my eye

a man is all he is in lust

I promised gave her nothing

for that soft tap at the door

& if there was someone else here

she’d go away without a word

come round again on another day

until I felt I owed her something

or was it just the pains of guilt

of taking & not giving

& when the landlord put the rent up

I moved

& never saw her

anymore