trap

some traps are easy

the great maw of steel

ringed with sharp teeth

others red lipstick

pearl whites poking through

& then the ones

that catch in the everyday

trying to understand

the why?

why do they

say do be like that

& there you are

hanging

on every word

trying to understand

& there you are

trapped in the best trap

because you don’t know

you’ve been caught

surface gloss

I was sold

miss sold to be precise

encouraged to look out

find in the world

things to believe in

get behind be part of

but the nearer I got

looked closer at

beyond the surface gloss

I could see the eyeliner

lipstick on the pig

the flashy box & ads

held only plastic within

& for a while disillusion set in

until I got to the place

where I understood full

it was up to me

to find my own reasons

to live

 

wake up

what the eyes don’t see

the signs were all there

the nights

extra care on the lipstick

picking clothes to wear

overtime at work

weekends with his friends

fishing trips with no fish

all the money gone

lift in the steps

brighter being

the eyes

choose to avoid

but we all knew

could see these changes

hoping they would wake up

before we had to tell them

big changes were coming

sympathetic

I know I wanted an end

some surcease

invasive thoughts of you

fragments in dreams

gathered up what was left

underwear from deep under the bed

toothbrush half lipstick on a shelf

put these in the trash

piled books I’d given you

sent to the thrift

& walked to the beach one evening

two porcelain dishes & a hammer

more than half in the bag

but then

who walks to the beach sober

hammer in hand?

sat on the rocks

set to smashing the china

sparks where steel hit stone

crushed your gifts to pieces

left nothing recognisable anymore

& there was sadness in the destruction

and end to something fine

walked home lighter a little bit

slept soundly that night

ever since

sympathetic magic

has its place