roaring deep

those nights

lights off

sitting in silence

holding my head

& wondering if the abyss

would cease staring back

as the world spun ever tighter

it seemed then

that everything I had ever

got close up to

seemed built

on a long ladder of lies

dissolving under close gaze

tighter inspection

parents school college

all of the institutions

work

that ever present

need to earn money

where the people

who did the actual work

earned less than those

who could not do the job

sitting in air con offices

scheming on each other

to suck up to the boss

in a bigger office

I wanted needed out of the trap

& all I heard in the silence

was the abyss roaring deep

not in peace

I sat down

where the great man wrote

to take a look

read from his book

& heard what he heard

saw what he saw

& I understood the words

had already fallen

for the idea

some time ago

felt the sense of place

exit from cities

foul humanity

dirt squalor disgrace

but I was not the only pilgrim

others had been before

& no doubt more

will come

like those who leave their litter

bottles cans paper plastic

homage corrupts if the wanderer

comes for bragging rights

not in peace

the reading

I don’t enjoy it much

saying the words out loud

that I found in my little space

out on my own

that I crumble

under the cold stare

in hot rooms

with my low voice

now unused to speaking loud

& worse it was for free

though they promised

free beer at the bar

& at a fiver a pint

I thought it best

to earn my keep

there was quiet for most of it

with an occasional yeah!

or an oh no!

did he really just say that?

& at the end

they gave me a bottle

of decent red

some decent applause

& I learned that what I read

is not always

what they heard