Working with fags 2

J was out of love again
another shop boy had left
run out before he got home
this was a pattern
he called love
& he wanted to bleed out
all over me
so I listened
is what good friends do
then I went for the throat
ffs! J
if you keep doing the same
thing over & over again
& expect something
different
then the problem
is you
he didn’t like this at all
went kind of pale
swallowed a bit much
made huh noises
as I held tight his arm
you my friend
are a grown man
earning good money
got your own house
y’gotta ask
why you pick up guys
with nothing
to bring to the table
& expect them to stay?
find somebody
of your status
another growed up man
with a career
own place
got things to give up
to be with you
the silence grew
we talked on other things
but he & I knew

good friends

Finding good friends
is never easy
those who will say no
for good reasons
not their own
will call you out
when that is needed
not for a dud day
mine told me I should take
six months off’f the women
I’d been failing at that
for some long time
a string of married women
one after the other
who loved to be with me
I called them doves
being
beautiful
white
well fed
as they
always returned home
my friend spoke with respect
it was hard to hear the call
but I did
refusing encounters became
my thing
reading
writing
walking
& thinking
gave me time
reflection on
the distance
between who I had become
where I’d started from
not gonna tack a happy ending
on here
but there was one