pills

I had the blues

the real bad kind

where the panic sets in

there behind the eyes

the sad thoughts

is it to be this time?

& the man will offer pills

to take it all away

& I say

listen man you don’t understand

this is how it is now & then

I know this will pass

but if you got something

like the giggle pills

I had as a kid?

& the man he says

we don’t offer that kind

which right now

I feel to be a poor business

into

tight & tighter

so many jams

tight corners

that I’d talked my way

into

finding myself caught up

again & again

trying to find new ways

to be

& to create

a decent way out

without hurting people

meant I ended up

hurting me

that’s the problem with people

they’ll happily watch

as you trap yourself

stand idle by & giggle

as you flail

your way out

to be the monster

they made me out

to be the monster

because I found them

to be mundane

with their just sayin’s

half done sentences

faux nervous giggles

half finished laughter

own it I said

please

be who you be

& her I threw away

for not being more

than just a pretty face

finding vengeance

her life trip now

setting out to destroy

my work my life

my reputation

now that does deserve

a half sentence laugh

faux girlie giggle

c’mon

you knew I was a monster

when you bought in

brought me inside