suddenly I see me

waiting for the woman

outside a downtown cafe

we’re to go have coffee

& suddenly I see me

coming out of a shop

another walking down the street

those fellas sitting on benches

these chaps chatting with friends

I am everywhere

tens of me

cluttering up the place

& I could be any of these men

this one those him being around

if I had taken a different path

met other people

stayed longer there

run away sooner with her

cut my hair short

put in that sad side parting

stayed on at school

made black my colour

asked for more

settled for less

& she arrives smiling

what’cha thinking about?

oh nothing I say

just watching the world go by

as we decide on flat whites today

everywhere

I go into the kitchen

remains of breakfast

piles of shop receipts on the counters

in the bedroom

contents of yesterdays changeover

handbag purse

on my side of the bed

in the lounge

stuff meaning to be put away

& later

she will sigh

say to me

why is your life so untidy?

& i

of course will hug her

whisper deep in her ear

‘cos I got you in it

baby is why

lifetime

& everywhere

the pain

waking up as the sun pierces thin curtains

another day to do

adding to the weeks

years after a while

& everybody

has their pain

shit stories to tell

& when is it ok

to say enough

tell me

do to me

no more

a year

five

ten?

however how many

it will be a lifetime