no fun

this looking on

trying to understand people

in the what they do

bean counters of time & emotion

I’m only trying to get by

is what they say

while climbing over others

is what they do

self interest masquerading

as care thoughtfulness

paper thin ego parade

drip charade of tears

the young girl tiptoeing the street

acting doe demure

downcast eyes of modesty

knowing full sure the world is peering in

attentive to every detail

the invisible audience everywhere

& I am looking on

knowing full certain

there is no real fun to be had

in these monkeys with anxiety

trying to fit in

rather than be

need for want

comes in those moments

days of sitting alone thinking

as your life crawls by

the misjudgements mishaps

comedy of errors created by ego

need for want instead of let go

& it is not a matter of working through

overthinking the moments

second guessing for the future

trying to remember lessons learned

more of a this is the way it is

accepting your own level of fool

you will make the same mistakes again

step in the same traps trip fire the mines

you will do what you will do

& if you can get some moments right

there will always be hope

here in the world


the cat couldn’t move

unless we promised him

booze women drugs

of any kind

that did not matter

just the promise alone

could get his ass out of bed

& upright the women

flocked to him

which creates its own jealousy

in the life of a band

fucks with your head

but the man could wail

spank that plank

get the crowd on their feet

& we according to him

were pulled along in his wake

so we went along his way

for a little while longer

knowing full sure

those appetites that ego

the gigs would end

we’d be designated

just one more band

doomed to fail

it’ll be gravy man just you watch & see

I’ve known

unfortunately heard

garage rock bands

all chords & slow drums

aware they were going to be big

then split within a month

due to musical differences

aka ego

late night daubers

involved in their technique

begging for wall space in cafes

hustling the concrete

make ends meet

but Bob

I worked with Bob

such a short time

pressing plastic injection levers

ejecting mass produced goods

if we can stretch that meaning

Bob believed

one day he would run the factory

be the boss of all he surveyed

it’ll be gravy man

just you watch & see

& after one late night too long

they had to let me go

one too many levers pulled wrong

I saw Bob some years later

waiting to cross the street

no difference in demeanour

no advancement writ large

on those wanting to be big feet

he caught my eye looked away

just one more worker bee

caught in the headlights

of the company

el dottore is in

Dr. Benstein suggests

that the patient

this writer

has compulsions obsessions

enough to sink a battleship

to put down the line

get shit out of his system

of which

the results are not always

beautiful to others

though they are pretty telling

of the id ego super ego

competing for space

in the imperfect man

yet there is potential

in his search for enlightenment

for some gestalt

but this

in itself

is no substitute

for a real job

earning money

kill the ego

kill the ego he says

& life will become less of a struggle

tell me more I say

sounds fascinating

& he pours on over the phone

about liberating himself ourselves

by letting go of ego

I wander about as he talks

making coffee & toast

waiting for a second a break in the flow

tell me how is love with this?

& the river takes a diversion

he is divorcing that time is over

has found a new person of affection

the affairs were but a distraction

from his relationship gone bad

but this is true love he says

one that will last

& we part as long distance friends

early morning phone call buddies

because I don’t ask the question

how does ever seeking new love


with killing the ego?

the ego thing


the ego thing

no matter where you go

try to join

is the dirt of the in clique

versus you the new

the gonna be out crowd

we were here firsters

the you wouldn’t understand congregation

even in church they will throw you out

of the choir because we want a sweet sound

want to be winners

in work you kinda expect this

always somebody sucking up to the boss

trying to make a name

wanting to get on bunch

but its everywhere man

A place where words get cursed

I liked you as a person

& that gets translated


to more

some kind of admiration


love affection

& baby that’s just not so

I can see you as you are

without the need for action

a mind can see a mind

sparking neurons

words pouring out

sparkling & flashing

creating riffs, rills

tumbles, jumps & spills

but that space between us

where ego fills

is the place

where words get cursed

land of the damned

lose the ego

Lose the ego he said
you’ll live longer
& I can’t help but
recognise the truth
of all that
ego will cause you
more ass whuppings
lonely nights
bruised feelings
than any tough with good arms
what else makes you want
good looking women
better than others?
& all of these will
cause you troubles
especially the good looking women
it’s a high maintenance game
& that is just when you love them
when that stops
watch out
I call him
say hows the no ego thing
I’m in the middle of a three month
world cruise
he riffs
they love us here
nothing is too much fuss
we dress for dinner
visit new countries
every other day
having a ball
& you?
I’ve let all that go
I say
got the ego down
to the size
of a pea
oh do fuck off he said
I’m guessing he’s still
got work
to do
on his ego