For Mary K.

people who will

take you

to the very edge

of your kindness

wearing thin

any generosity

while giving nothing

of themselves

& then

spit in your face


not giving



we met at a party

friends birthday kind of thing

she was sitting alone

looking bored edge of sofa

I moved in to see

we talked for a while

of this that the world

I found myself

talking to an alien

her world so very different

to mine

a gentle path followed

everything flowed

good home good schools

college university

first love & then sadness

failure the first time

& now

she was finding life hard

defeat had taken hold

& I could not help

her bridge across to my world

to see

this was the nature of things

ebb flow ups downs

when her world had been

a clean trajectory

for flying into the wind

close to that edge

that I never wanted to contemplate

been there before

& there is nothing here

can make me go back again

not that I care for me

about the looking over

seeing an end to all of this

but those left behind

can never understand

why those choices

feel close to the divine

though I know love is not there

when nothing much matters anymore

seems to be a struggle

clutching at the air

& if I give up now

on all of you

all of me

all I would be

is one more said

they cared

& let go

for flying into the wind