again

dark curses are upon me

again

& wondering who laid

who what can be to blame

this time

her scorned who I told

I loved would love forever

before I ran away in the rain

her that I fought for truth

only to find darker stains

could it just be

because I came prepacked

born with distorted genes

holding responsibility from crimes before

stretching to times all gone

but for me still keeping score

him who felt my scorn

feeling wounded when told

you talk it you walk it as

anything else is a yellow bore

nowI light candles burn bright

watch them down to their core

recite psalms turn mirrors

return to senders threefold

back to owners scolders not bolders

who will cannot face me tell me

the wrongs done that need righting

holding open doors

clearing the killing floor

almodovar

crimes of my mother

the first big one

was running away

with the tv repair man

leaving her kids behind

the second was leaving me

with the memories

of her frightened terror’d face

& with the people

who gave those to her

they hoped I had no memories

of her & those times

but I did

there were other crimes

but these are the ones

that matter most

in the life of a frightened kid

& there never came an apology

any understanding from her

that they were the same to us

as to her

& to make the point clear

she ran away again

no forwarding address

no phone

& she was dead five years

before I found out

wants me to listen

he got

that hyperbole

stringing out the lines

the excitement

of enticement

to push others

commit the crimes

in response

to his sweet words

covering the hate

& I’m saying louder

listen people listen

wake up

before its too late

but they say hush

hear the great words

the whoosh of his rhetoric

weft of well crafted words

creating space

for things to happen