comes in time

you learn after a while

to despise them

but first

you learn to despise yourself

being singled out of the herd

by those nice ladies

out on the night prowl

learning too late

these are the ones pretending

to be decent society members

these police diallers snitches grasses

writers of poison pen letters

mob stirrers butter would not melt

taking their status from men at home

while they want you

to play the cuckold for a night two

bring some spice into life

& it comes in time

never straightaway

you are a pawn in play

prey

to their inauthenticity

that men have

keeping things in

is the problem

amongst many apparently

that men have

be more open she said

tell me about your feelings

so like a good boy I started in

I was having a bit of a er

bit of a lonely moment today

I started to say

and

do you need a drink?

came back at me

as I was saying before

Joan in the office is such a bitch

she sneaks around

like butter would not melt

is this a feelings talk?

I ask

or more a bit of a moan?

that’s the problem

with you men she says

you just don’t understand

emotions

convent girls

butter would not melt

in those

supposedly shy yet vicious mouths

taught by married to jesus nuns

& she tells me straight

about a third now of my class

are call girls escorts to rich men

I looked her in the eye

I ain’t got much sugar honey

but I’m sure we can get by

she scared easy which was a fuss

such as in a cathedral taking pictures

of the stained glass rose window

& I almost dropped the camera

cussed out shit! under my breath

& she almost fainted

went white eyes rolling in her head

we gotta go we gotta go!

let me take this one last picture

as she mumbled everybody here

heard what you just said

which was me forgetting

as no matter what she did or said

the priest would be sitting there

behind a screen nodding his head

giving forgiveness in exchange for prayer

while I was heading straight to hell

nobody to forgive me hold my hand

& I knew like everybody else

I was going to be a stretch

for her everybody around her

religion to understand

they come to you

like butter would not melt

in those oh so sweet mouths

to leave

screaming & kicking

spitballs of rage

to later call

I do wonder how you are these days

like they left no scars

wounds that have barely healed

I’m ok you say

not wanting to give anything away

then soft with a hint of steel

I hear you’re dating that blonde…?

& you? I go

you seeing mr right?

& the tone changes

like they want to forget

it was they who put the cuts in

created the scars on the heart

yeah you always bounce back don’t you

putting the phone down with a click

I guess she feels she scored somethin’ there

but me I gotta go lie down

feeling a little sick

turning the phone off the music up

a man has to have something

he can rely on