what does she know?

I’d lie in my bath

just enough bubbles

to stop my little yellow duckie

in his tracks flow

thinking on the day to come

those gone by

& she

in her wisdom told me

in a bath you are soaking

in all your yesterdays

where a shower takes everything

away

so I switched for a while

getting the flow not too cold

heat goldilocks about right

& no thoughts came

understandings of yesterday

& my little yellow duckie

got lonely stuck on the side

until the one thought

came clear

in terms of process

soaking in thoughts feelings

understanding the shitshow

what does she know?

bubbles insidious

why I despise tv

there she was

the rich fat socialite

spaffing out loud

I only like parties

with winners

actors business men

people who win

have something going on

not dull people

those with a chip

on their shoulders

smiling as she knew

the world was hers to run

& I’m seeing this

up high end of bar tv

surrounded by people

who would never

get to be there

I got caught for a moment

was I dull? do I have a chip?

& then I remembered

Bubbles married a billionaire

is why she gets to spew

such bilious shit

she won a rich man

& that was it

her winning

not particularly painful

if unwanted uninvited

something as simple as

slipping into a Sunday afternoon bath

Badedas green water & bubbles

novel fat towel to the side

good glass of Corbiere

heat hot up to my shoulders

easing the tension held there

& then a memory bursts through

I’m two years old

smallest kid in the boys dorm

at the children’s home

& last to go in the bath

that grey going on black puddle

flat reflecting strip light overhead

the nurse forceful & harsh

don’t be a baby get in in!

the water was cool

I’d jump in splash a bit jump out

standing on cold lino’ to dry

on the already used damp thin towel

not a particularly painful memory

but one that surprises in being

unlocked not retrieved for so many years

as I lie cocooned by this hot bath

wondering

why now to deliver this?