echoing tinny from the steel ship

night ferry

between the islands

the young girls were dancing

playing songs on their ‘phones

echoing tinny from the steel ship

deck heads bulwarks

heels slapping tapping rhythms

not meant for me

my time listening

to low fi sounds

on the beach late night

with a fire flaring out to sea

feeling youth flush these veins

dancing until light pierced the black

alive for all time

has gone

it is my time to be the spectator

so many ways

there were all kinds of crazy

living in the hotel cheap week rates

near to the seafront beach

& I’d run that every morning

something to do try to change my ways

she’d come round every afternoon

floral tea cup held out y’got anything to drink?

& I told her every time I wasn’t drinking today

but she never believed kept knocking

the thin gay boy who wanted to suck my cock

who too didn’t believe when I said I was not inclined

& the fateful night

coming in late from night school

her door was open come in! come in!

I’ve had a windfall

the crazies all there sipping from bottles

I sat for a while dozing under a yellow lamp

as the crazies drifted away one by one

she droned on about past loves

big money scores to come

& around two I woke to a head between my legs

warm fuzzy feelings I’d forgot I could have

waking in the morning thinking time to run

in so many ways

revelations

I took my white handled athame

down to the beach start of the day

& as the sun caught tip of the waves

I threw it & the last I had of you in

I’d returned the photos records

books clothes intimates of will

but for my last precious part of you

tied to my athame flung far as I could

& as I saw it arc then sink into the sea

I chanted a spell cutting the cord

that bound you to me me to you

the ocean took all of that in away

our bond was cut now not to be again

I sat on a sun burnt bench for a while

watching waiting whether for hope or fail

in case the tide brought us back again

& then for a brief moment bare waving arms

of dead sailors accepting my gift with wishes

it was then I knew the hex had taken hold

walked away with words echoing my head

I’m going to miss that pearl white handle

my faithful athame in my hand my heart

over & over now never helping spells

incantations rituals until I will get old

& to be true

I wanted to be gone

& to be true

I felt my people

wanted me gone too

one less mouth to feed

more cash for the booze

but where to go?

loving the sun the beach

the mountains lakes

green meadows blue skies

so many places

where to choose?

& knowing nowhere

could now be home

setting out for something

to be always alone

never settling here

wanting to be over there

somewhere else with you

rule of surfing

first

you must stand on the beach

or viewpoint over

in board shorts

wet suit rolled halfway down

while holding your board

staring at the waves

to signify intent

doing your best to look all

surf’y

& interesting

for some time

& only then

can you throw yourself & board

with abandon

into the waves

to paddle out to join the others

who too will wait

& wait

& wait

until the exact

right wave

arrives

On a Scottish beach

On a Scottish beach
miles from anywhere
anyone
we stayed for days
in a tiny tent
just above the shelled
shoreline
& silence
we took our clothes off
& wandered
exploring
this
empty
yet full world
waves
sea
the only time I felt
my nakedness
when you took a photo
of me
diving from rocks
into that cold blue sea
& would not
let me take a pic
of you
after that
our clothes
went back on
eve
eh?

Alicante playas

What gets lost in translation

of playas

is

it is where mud meets the med

there is sand to be had

and chippings of plastic

dead food containers

sad flip flops

cigarette lighters

things other

that we would prefer

not to recognise

a place for old men to meet

discuss issues of their day

& the young flock to frolic

in the outflow from plush hotels

playas

when the sun don’t shine

it means

car park