thirteenth

made my thirteenth

which made me a teenager

but I did not know

what to do with that

other than having urges feelings

spiraling around in my head

I’d already found

self-love in sticky nights

teen bands I was meant

to be in love with but wasn’t

the joy of beer & cigarettes

& that sweet year 13 going on 14

I thought I had the world

already worked out

had no idea of the pain to come

that I’d be made to pay

for these new found worldly delights

the aches of lovers who leave

taking most of me

& any dignity left with them

at thirteen my focus was on new shoes

new threads how I looked in the mirror

my circle of friends I’d lose over the years

then came the days

when I found the blues

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