& then

I am not supposed to feel

anything about this

my girl with the diaphragm

we dated slept together

for a couple of years

never quite committing

& then

she was pregnant

did not know what to do

we were young

endlessly broke

I had nothing to hold onto

she chose the abortion

because I was too chickenshit

to commit

& now

I have no idea where she is

tho’ I know from friends

she is on her second husband

& I wonder if she thinks of this

if at all

these decisions made

that linger on

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