visit

she came around bringing music to play

& I tried to say thank you just not today

words which did not sit well

I could feel the disappointment

roil off her in viscous hot waves

think she had in her mind I was hers to play

got stuff going on I said not good company

that’s ok sugar she offered I can take care of your needs

& though I knew full well not to let her in thru’ the door

she was already most of the way in looking around

we played the music rolled papers smoked ourselves out

sometime a lot later she stroked my head suggested

hey honey I can love you better in bed

so we wandered along got ourselves snuggled warm

& she left quiet sometime after midnight with not a word

leaving me further empty with more now to wish regret

not a wasted day but being alone is not about others care

leaving just a man with more evidence no spine enough

to face alone down what he needs to own

that little thing we try not to call shame

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