if only I could find the right tools

looking in the mirror

it was my turn

& I noticed this one grey hair

there on my chest

thinking wtf man?

this was not meant to happen

those cold rooms where I sat

eyeing the blades

bottles of pills

the cowardice I held close

always having somebody

end of a wire

to come rescue me

from that sorry hole of self pity

I did not know it then

I was but just terminally bored

not understanding

I could dig myself out

if only I could find the right tools

& now there is grey chest hair

where surely there will be

more to follow

much like the days that came after

then

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