the fuzz in my head

did not ebb away

until I was in my mid 20’s

when I finally found peace

with me in the world

I was living alone then

a little one room place

shared bathroom

my own kitchenette bed chair & table

I’d get up early run the seafront

bathe breakfast & the day was mine

to read write walk amongst people

not engaging or disengaged

just gently fenced off

I had no tv booze drugs

to distract from thinking

feeling my way through

just time to sit read write

preparing to go to university

to engage with the world

in a newer way

while the fuzz slowly ebbed away

that grey throb horror of family

dark legacy of others mistakes

to give space for me

start over

begin to find my way again

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