born lucky somehow

sometimes if you are lucky

you get to a place

not always physical

but a place

where you really find out

who your friends are

getting arrested

or going to jail is one

then you find out

who is too busy to see you

or will stick by you

some friendships can take

a long road trip

fighting over

the route music

when where to stop

eat drink sleep

but others you end up

never speaking again

on the important things in life

but at least

you know now

if you ever were

really friends

listening to the sea

times I’ve lain here

listening to the sea

feeling the waves

I’d surfed today

moving me still

mind pictures of a wave

backlit by sun as three tuna

arced in & I dived deeper

under canvas (nylon)

as the rain pattered

hoping this was leakproof

under tarpaulin with friends

no money & miles to get home

with people I wished

I had never brought here

their ghosts now to stink the place up

in a camper laughing

as the rain hit the roof

thinking how times alters life

windows open listening

to the sea

some things

they never change

you didn’t ask so I didn’t say

chance meeting in the coffee shop

so many years later

after I’d fucked up my job

got in a row with an idiot

so they’d let me go

& you were my friend

some kind of mate

who dropped me like a hot stone

& here we are saying hello

as if all that never happened

no whatever did you do?

& I don’t talk of how I bounced back

went on to bigger better things

found there was life elsewhere

but took the lesson learned with

we talk of other things

our loves our lives in general

& you didn’t ask anything

of any real importance

so I didn’t tell

& left with no new news of you

but still felt

I knew exactly who you were

not for politeness

I turned away

two lovers saying goodbye

at the train station

he was holding her

arms all around strong tight

& she was happy to be held

but had to go away

as the tears came

& I had to turn away

not for politeness

innate cowardice at powerful feelings

but from recognition

how I held you in my time then

you were that woman

I was that man

& I never saw you again

I had to turn away

this was their moment

not mine

any emotion here

apart from theirs

was unwanted

but what do you do?

city refrain to country folk

them not knowing where anything is

where nightlife

fun can be found

not part of the endless round

of meeting people

obligations to be fulfilled

the fayres jumble sales

table top sales

whist drives beetle drives

bridge for the fatous

the pub connections to be made

kept up

if you need x doing at mates rates

your keeping your side

of the bargain

the dodgy deal

twisted arrangement made at midnight

involving livestock

the death of that

& your hands in the doing

but what do you do? they ask

& you have nothing to say

for this

is but a part of it

the mall

walking the mall

just as the doors open

for the staff

early birds

in the small a.m.

ghost dancing the window shopping

& the delights of a freshly scrubbed

marble floor

first person to use

in to the toilets

servicios

senors hombres caballeros

m’sieurs gents herren

what have you

reflected pale in the bright mirrors

hoping the coffee shop is open

put some cheer in these cheeks

& the peace

before the storm

before the canned music

people

is all yours

on the A7 out of Alicant

heading towards Valencia

sun shining

decent grip on the road

the world is all ok today

& here he comes

head down on his hondyamkwakazuki

eyes scanning the traffic

for false moves

sudden lane changes

this is what I see

& what he doesn’t see

is his senorita

holding him for dear life

perched like a capuchin baby

high on his back

eyes shut

flickering them open

then shutting tight shut again

the fear in them

as she mouths her prayers

as he makes his next overtake

she must be all

of five feet nothing

in cropped jeans leather jacket

holding on to her man

trusting in god & him

such is

life in the fast lane

on the A7 out of Alicant to Valencia

these things we do

become who we are

gilt frame frowning pair of eyes

catches the lift

the pick up in an outfit

rousing the mundane

helping become who we want to be

silver votive charm

on a necklace bracelet

fluorescent shoelaces in runners

pinkie ring from fraternity

each adding to

framing individuality

already present

given

by time place & genes

which are obviously

not enough

we can call it pride

if you will

preferable to macho bullshit

that side of you

people never knew

I helped kept hidden

where you did me harm

cutting to size you called it

to hold me tight

the side hidden by your charms

where people thought you

all sweetness & light

not hearing your rages

fire

there in the night

& when I let you go

the same fools cheered

I told you so

she was too good for him

as you slipped away

smile hiding your sins

& we can call it pride

I kept all of this

hidden inside

Ace

local authority homed kid

dad did stuff with the navy

somewhere overseas

& mum spent the money

any way she pleased

as Ace grew up loving Bowie

& the metal thing

she knew she needed a man

until then any boy would do

learning like all project girls early

the main thing she offered was screw

the boys they loved her easy

they came & they went

giving babies now& then

saying thank you to the government

in her twenties she found out

solved the game

found her real love

in the arms of a woman

& life was never the same

she grew she flowered

she loved to learn

to live

to care