advice they ask

this one calls

that one writes

what do you think I should do?

& I’ve gotten this far

by working out all of this


for myself

& you need to know this:

my answers

are not necessarily your best advice

but what he really wants

is for me to fill in his court forms

stand up there

in front of the judge

on my hind legs

like a lawyer

but so much cheaper

on mates rates

cos we’re friends ok?


they don’t call when the cops book ‘em

or the shit first hits the fan

because that’s when I’d be most help


they fuck up first by talking

do some lousy negotiating

which they lose everything at

& then & only then

do they call

please pick up the pieces

for this toy I broke

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