She came to us

first time since

I can’t remember

& we go way back

full of life, beans

had turned a corner

she said

all was yet to come

she said

big changes

were in the wind

& it was great to see

hear the enthusiasm

like a hurricane

again

as in her youth

we waited for more

& the next

we heard

she was gone

that visit

her last goodbye

over & done

Man has issues

she says its over

so he sits in his car

& watches who

comes & goes

says he’s there because

he wants money owed

demands a conversation

to try over again

contacts anybody

they ever knew

to ‘hear his side’

& I ain’t Judge Judy

am fond of the man

but my voice to him

is just one of the clan

calling let it go

time to let it all go

the woman

don’t want you no more

move on while you can

which is only a buzz in his ears

the police were called

eventually

even though

she don’t want no trouble

said time to let go son

we see your car here again

you’re going to jail

& he parks further away

like that’s alright

watching her traffic

making phone calls late night

& she doesn’t want him arrested

but knows that time

is surely coming soon

the man has issues

can’t keep away

& the sympathy we have

for a fool going through loss

begins to wear thin

when he says

we ain’t listening to him

falling down

Motorcycle mama

you see her in the street

reacting gently

as the hogs rumble by

she can’t help herself

that soft turn towards

the sound

& you wonder if it stirs

somewhere deep inside

she was young once

loved all her boys

lost some in ways

she remembers to forget

another stuck around

now she’s a grandmother

to the one she’s pushing

a different set of wheels

but that doesn’t stop

her thoughts

of when

her hair grew yellow long

fitting those tight leather jeans

in summers so long past

now most days feel like autumn

her hair shining grey

those fading leaves

like memories

falling down

Out of towners

had ridden hundreds of miles

needed a place to sit

& just think about all of that

start

to catch up to now

a little town in Belgium

caught in the evening light

bar doors open wide

went in shook the hand of the owner

made our hello’s

guy had been a bike racer

back there sometime in the day

walls had photos

bits of old machines to show

we nestled in to stay

the beers flowed all right

ordered pizzas as the talks began

he showed his collection

old bikes out back

rode one twice around the pool table

then around the quiet old block

back in around the place

smiled again

the winner again

as we settled to the beat of his night

meaning to send

I would love

all the letters I wrote

when we were torn apart

I know I promised you many things

when we touched each other again

seeing you as my salvation

& some of those promises I kept

as others disappeared

which didn’t mean I didn’t love you

the words were meant & strong

would they remember me to me

as a version younger more naive

how those times formed us to think

& looking back now I know

all the time my heart lived in fear

knowing I was losing you

to another who could give you more

all I had in my hands was uncertainty

a life taking me away from you

Ain’t gonna fix itself

how long lord

oh how long to keep flogging?

silences & words

are never going to solve

when the people involved

don’t ever want resolve

I’ve tried being there

the withdraw

& nothing ever changes

& this ain’t gonna fix itself

but I’m sick & tired of trying

with nothing coming back

salt tears are not a solution

nor it seems easy love

acceptance of that way of being

when they want

with no thought of giving

eyes

see the burn of the sun on your coat

deer slots on winding path

places lovers left with no turn back

clouds bringing rain on a sunny day

darker corners where the mood caught us

& we had to do it in the road like beasts

wherever & whenever we could

there in the woods the remains of love

scars from another lover turned silver

by a thin shallow trout stream

where the weeds willow in the flow

you raise your hands to her flush with anger

her throw cold hard irons at you

& felt the silence after that stretched the years

saw the soft scars slowly kill your mind

falling fast  birds of prey pouncing on mice

while those around watch dulled

orbs glazed by what they feel is but repetition

emotion twitch your cheeks

dab of colour you’d prefer hidden

& know what you’d prefer to not say

tremors in leathered hands of age

the grey that steals your youth

but not my love

Not an easy crowd

it was over

but she hadn’t told me yet

as ever

the sap is the last to know

& I was in fine form

talking a yard a minute

hitting my marks

had tales to show

but this troupe

were not with me tonight

oh I knew something was wrong

just could not place the mood

& she came in

the mob turned as one

offering love in spades

we must talk she spoke

& I knew in my watery ankles

this would be the end

& there is a relief to know

the why of the clique

if the sadness of an end

knowing nothing of anything said

I had the sense

this was not my crowd

but a mob

with a lynching in mind

Can’t be doing with

She smiles at me

I’m back in my place

by the window

I can see the sea

people wandering by

nobody need talk to me

in this tight spot

she smiles

& I smile back

after all

a gentleman

is never not intentionally rude

hoping the smile is all

but no

I see you here often

by yourself

does your wife ever come?

oh she’s shopping

she might come by in a minute

I lie blithely

wanting to end this

friendly encounter

her smile disappears

her sandwich becomes interesting

again

she eats

drinks her coffee

& goes

& I slyly peek at her figure

nicely dressed

good form

no doubt a great

nice woman

but I can’t be doing with

all that new old anymore

she’d be lovely

her nest would be all prim & proper

would have kids

she no longer sees

who facebook occasionally

or all the time

with senseless life homilies

some small yappy mutt

that shits in the street

or a wandering cat

a half mad brother

who wouldn’t like me

one aged parent needing care

& her own needs

of course

would be small

but urgent

don’t you understand?