Trying not to care

weeks I never left the room

wasn’t in drink

drugs

no tv

just lost the point

need

to go out

the shack job had once

had everything I needed

though I knew

that had come to an end

I was either sleeping

catatonic

staring at the walls

I began reading

anything I could get my hands on

soaking up words

sucking them in

back of chemical bottles in the can

breakfast boxes

looking for something

to hold on to

she wanted me out

gone

just couldn’t find

her words to say

i’d ceased being useful

to her

in my trying to find some pattern

did not want me there

my lust for her

had dissipated

some time ago

the lie we had worn thin

this was a clinging

nobody wanted

a friend called

while she was seeing a friend

c’mon man lets get you out

of here

left a note

thank you for everything

i’m gone

& like that

a few pale words

on a slight bit of card

&

the spell was broken

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