I remember night

being dark & all

bruv Dave, the dog & me

in my little black mini

had just failed my driving test

the inspector said:

do more miles son, you’ll be fine

we had a full tank of gas

bag of sandwiches

& forgot the dog food

set out late afternoon

follow the signs for London

said bruv

so I did

through London

cars coming at me

all directions

stalled twice at junctions

to the beeping horns of others

& that don’t help

at all

out the far side

head north said bruv

so I did

filled up with gas

ate some sandwiches

Yana, the dog, was hungry

so we fed her sandwiches too

all we had

it was a sharing thing

heading north

the mini developed a fault

full power one second

none the next

having to indicate

pull over quick as can

then the power would come back

we’d set off again

the dog got farty

began to whine

at the next traffic jam

we pulled to the side

she got out

ripped a huge pile


on the side of the road

she got back in

we drove on

take a right

so I did

stopped for a beer

some locals night out

wanting to punch my face in

back in the car


farting dog


woke us up

take a right

so I did

out along the coast

with red light

yellows & then gold

the dog was hungry

stopped for gas

gave her the insides of a meat pie

drove on

so few cars about

then getting busier as the day awoke

the dog kept farting

or was it bruv?

I was beginning to have suspicions

the car kept stopping


I drove on

arriving in our home city

four lanes & traffic lights with a queue

dog in distress

let the dog out

pile in the middle of the highway

she jumped back in

just as the lights changed

& we


was done


we stopped

out of gas



time for each other

the dog needed feeding


fresh air

we all did

I passed my test

two days later


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