Being Puck

Maybe thirteen
my house play at school
being Puck
in midsummer night’s dream
trying to do
be
part of something
feeling I had no grip
walking to the show night
after weeks of rehearsals
thinking
“I’ll follow you, I’ll lead you about a round,
Through bog, through bush, through brake, through brier:
Sometime a horse I’ll be, sometime a hound,
A hog, a headless bear, sometime a fire;
And neigh, and bark, and grunt, and roar, and burn,
Like horse, hound, hog, bear, fire, at every turn”
those words are with me still
I played my part
the show was a success
& afterwards walked again
feeling I’d failed once more
to hold on to something
anything
home & straight to bed
that was their rule then
& she tells me
I’m lonely since your father died
it’s hard not to be part of something
& I say, yes
I totally understand
(thanks to Bill Shakespeare)

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