The things women do

leave their stuff at your place
bra’s, knickers, hairbrushes, toothbrushes (not toothpaste)
make up, hair pins under, on the sofa
possibly most important: strange foods in the fridge
leave an impression in your bed
your head, your life
refuse to sleep with you until its right
then before they leave have a ‘crossover’ period
sleep with the next loser in line
while she makes up her mind to leave or stay
believes in women & children first
will demand equality in all things
but not for restaurant choices
(& will walk into & out of your restaurant/café choice
because it didn’t feel right, the décor was wrong
the waiter was surly, there was an odd smell
we’ve eaten here before….)
paying the bill, the tip
putting gas in the car
talking to the mechanic
shooing the wasp, mice, spiders
any & all wildlife out of the house
want to see what is in your phone
diary, calendar
but to see in her handbag/purse is
a total violation of her privacy
will analyse your friends & try to weed out those
she don’t like or don’t like her
will one day leave
your kitchen spotless
the next
a scene of utter devastation
ditto the bathroom
ditto your life

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