Where does the pain go?

Where does the pain go?
Days staring at the wall
Tv
seeing nothing
hearing only
why why
of inner voice
walking among crowds
feeling full dull blade
loneliness carving through
just where does the pain go?
this
filled every waking moment
bayed sleep
until weariness forced
eyes to close on torment
to return on waking
there was nothing
I would not have given
for end
the rope
blade
pills
drink
and then it slowly ceases
you become pleased
of not causing
bitter world to end
the tv resumes
its ceaseless roar
wallpaper patterns emerge
the sun tracks hours
trickling away again today
and
all you gave up was time
time the healer
time the killer
the pain becomes
what you can live with
it may not be this day
but there will be a day
again
you can seek
the crowds idiot warmth
feel the pull of another orbit
the circle begins again
wherever the pain goes
it will never be too far
that it may never come again.

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