alley swinging

I never was much of a fistman
losing more than I ever won
cos there IS always somebody bigger
better, harder
prepared to fight to their last breath
where I could see that
maybe they had a point
I was too loud, too lairy,
too gobby, too snotty, too much
for their souls to bear
and fighting for honour
what honour?
for girls who loved brutes in sweat
some slight said in jest
some doubt cast
some whatever bullshit
they could muster to justify
their putting their hands, fists,
on me
I never had much to back up
defend
to create reason to swing
unless they stole what little I had
and then I would
take back, by force
not that I’d feel good about that
after
either.

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