not Angostura, oh no

I didn’t, couldn’t write for 8 years, more. I thought I’d lost it, lost my mojo, desire/need to put down what was happening for me around me, even thought my dad dying had ended that somehow, but no, it was the shit people around me.
They fucking hated me, they hated what I wrote: couldn’t read it, wouldn’t read it, said, didn’t make sense, it was out of sequence, told me it was like their work but oh no not as good or disjointed-much like your lost love lives eh fuckers?
But read it they did. It went out to the people my work mattered to, they got it, moved on, did the things they were meant to. While my colleagues rebadged my shit, put gussy borders on it and floated it on as their own. One took a year to ‘rewrite’ one offering, gave it back untouched as all her own work and they loved it, because it was no longer mine.
They told me I stunk, was too sensitive, wondered about my life, man they were so fucked up all they could do was put shit out rather than own it, own themselves.
Worse I almost began to believe the bullshit.
Thankfully, eventually they offered an out, I took it and ran, both hands, out into the light, the day, away from the brooding night inside. And that children is how work fucks people up, they lose their humanity, see others as less than themselves, lose awareness of their own stink but knowing the place reeks put the blame on another.
Beware work, beware forgetting work is a place you go to get money to live: if you didn’t need money to love, there would be no work. Forgetting this makes stupid people think they have a vocation, a cause, energie de vie, for doing what they do, which is to earn money in order to live a life. I know this ‘cos not one refused their salary despite their arrogance in ‘serving the cause’ though serving their chosen cause did help them look down their noses at me.
Somehow the grey memo on shithead bosses had not got to these people, they had the idea that whispering campaigns, disinformation and rumour could get them career advancement. They had no idea that the boss is always, always, cannot be anything but a shithead: only concerned with a) covering their back b) putting you in the spotlight of blame to promote a)
Sure they smile as they lie, they will smile as they pat you on the back to get you to do good work but to actually manage people? Its puzzlingly a whole line of work they get promoted to do but cannot deliver on, any disaster, any fuck up in the food chain of work decisions will always be further fucked up by including a manager in the decision making. You’ve got a great idea to make what you do easier, simpler? Do it, just do it, cos if you tell them and you’ve got a shithead manager, they will find a way to bury that idea, that initiative because of a) Of course if it really is a great idea and could get them further up the greasy pole of management? Expect a rebadged version some time down the line after you’ve been encouraged to leave or been hidden away in the back office.
Every reorganisation that puts the work the work the company does further away from the people they are supposed to do it for? That’ll be a shithead manager with an MBA (masters business administration) but you can bet it involves a higher salary for managers.
Fuck em eh? I got out and they are still their fighting the good fight imploding their energy at each other rather than doing the work they get paid good money to do.

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