a moment

Oh god for a moment alone, a minute to me, by myself, seconds without others, here, there, everywhere. Fragments of time like when I was young, invisible in the world, aeons then where I could walk, be, doing nothing but being with me. Carrying a notebook, pen, I could sit, idle, lay in the sidestreet, alleyways, loitering with intent to do not much. Just me in my thoughts working out the patterns, the ways ahead wanting to find a way of not hating all around, too simple, too much pain for the head, not accepting, too obvious, better off dead. Another path, aware of the traps, the falls, the quicksand to smother desire to live. Nobody makes it all the way.
Oh god, for a moment alone, free from eyes, free from others needs to engage, free from curiosity, the what you got I haven’t got? Free from I don’t like you ‘cos I don’t like-name the poison: gender, race, religion, dress code, hair style, social class, dribbling on and on in hate. Free from I haven’t yet matured and I can take my shite out on you ‘cos I can, want to, will do, you are not big enough, smart, quick enough to run away.
Oh god, for a moment alone, escaping debt, bills, credit companies, banks that need, letters that flutter through the door, requests to help, calls to clear up the mess somewhere, everywhere that I have no part in, desire to be, yet, yet, somehow I must, must be part of the solution.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s