only you

She will tell you it’s you
& only you
& then
fuck some stranger
because
she can
& you know its over
& you know you will
fuck her again
because.

There comes a time
when you’re out
& she makes a move
& you don’t really know
whether to warn him
feel sad
feel sorry
that again
she will fuck a pleasant stranger
he will look at you
like he has won big
& you want to offer a prize
& a fluffy toy is not enough
nobody wins in slut games

This rumbles on
for a year past the time
I should’ve walked
killed the bitch
but the memory
of what was
& could be again
& that I felt something
like love
only colder
held me on
until I’d learned
every bitter twisted lesson
all the traps, potholes
she could put in my way
until
I wasn’t free of her
I was free of me.

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