Some women

Some women
don’t care
they just need a man
any man
to be around
its ok if you’re a fat slob
farting in your dressing gown
half asleep on the sofa
until you too begin to believe
its love
& then
they want you to go away
the deal was to be around
available
not needy.

As I walk
I see no strut, no stride
this is where exist
not live
exists
I’ve never wanted any part of this
the shuffle roll
flash of anger
wot u want?
Wot u lookin at?
&
mums that shout
shut up!
Stop being silly!
For fucks sake!
out loud at prams
toddlers
the world.

I’ve not wanted to be part
yet I’ve lolled
in darker corners
slept in crumpled beds
next to near strangers
holding on to nothing
waiting for something
to drag me
into a brighter day
&
so, I walked
walked away
not wanting to look
back into the mud
sucking at my feet
women who wanted
me to be available
around.

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