silence

A half formed feeling that somewhere, out there, something is wrong
I cannot as yet say what it is, will be
Or even how it’s effects will be felt as its tidal flow enters my placid bay.
You want I should tell you of mornings cold and frosted and the warm coffee still and colded like a stillbirth chill in my face
like I can give you experience of those moments held in a childs arms
new fresh as daisy to be formed.
Would that I could
my tears coursing down these faded ungilded cheeks.
I love you freely, unbidden
as my child
my neglected children
passed thru’ these hands into the brazen embrace of clocks ticked.
Eternities spent toward uncaring loves
experience daunts me…
I cannot hold this
yet you call for my love, my memories, my holding.
For free hey?
I know that to describe, unless you hold the space yourself is wasted, there is no free lunch for journeys missed.
Hold me, love me, come back to me, return before you have left, for there are splintered fragments here:
Ice upon the puddle, cobwebs in the bushes to hold the boy. Plastic stroked for the first time, coca cola sucked into sanded thirsty lips, sand blown across a desert slowly reclaiming city.
I hold no grip on this
only experience that cannot be held between us.
I want to part you as you desire to hold me and the cactus grows untended whilst we ponder.
Silence will hold me forever.

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